The Englishman, the Frenchman, the Mexican & the Texan. LOL! Also, don’t mess with Texas.
A little old redneck was walking across the Cooper River bridge in Charleston SC when he spotted a man perched at the highest point of the span walkway, obviously contemplating suicide.
The redneck approached carefully and said, “Mister, there ain’t no need fer y’all to go & do something like that!”
“I have nothing left to live for.”
“Well, cain’t you live fer the sake of your wife?”
“My wife divorced me.”
“Cain’t you live fer the sake of your kids?”
“My children left with my ex and I never hear from them.”
“Well, cain’t you live fer the sake of your country?”
“I lost my job, I have no money, and I’m too old to enlist.”
The redneck was now desperate for ways to dissuade the man from suicide, so he stood back, removed his cap and placed it over his heart, and said with deep feeling,
“Well now, you can at least live for the sake of the memory of General Robert E. Lee!”
“Who’s Robert E. Lee?”
“JUMP, YOU NO GOOD YANKEE S.O.B.!!!”
;^)
To quote Larry the Cable Guy.....
“It’s better to burp and taste it than to fart and waste it.”
AND.....(not from Larry)
A cowboy, an Indian, and a Muslim were riding a train across the great plains. The cowboy seemed to be sleeping with his hat pulled down over his face. The Indian and the Muslim were talking.
The Indian said, “We once ruled this land as far as the eye can see. Once we were many, now we are few.”
The Muslim replied, “Now we are few, but soon we will be many. And WE will rule this land.”
The cowboy tipped his hat back and said, “Yeah, but we ain’t played cowboys and Muslims yet!”
Lol, that’s a good one!