On patrol with the smoke police

Bakersfield Californian ^ | 12/17/2011 | BY KELLIE SCHMITT

[umgud]

As the first rays of sunshine pierced the dense Bakersfield air, Mike Oldershaw searched for smoke.....

This morning, though, his eyes led him to the culprit: a stucco home in northwest Bakersfield with a wisp of gas piping out its tile roof .......

Oldershaw, an air quality compliance manager with the San Joaquin Valley Air Pollution Control District, had spotted what could be the day's first no-burn violator......

Violators face either a $50 ticket or enrollment in so-called "smoke school," which involves a take-home test. For repeat offenders, fines can soar to $1,000.......

[umgud]

I seem to remember a few Xmas's ago, volunteer air board members hit the San Fransisco streets to hand out fireplace burning tickets. I guess the question is whether they're out to save us or harrass us. My bet's on the latter.

[Tax-chick]

As the first rays of sunshine pierced the dense Bakersfield air ...

Has someone measured the density of the air in Bakersfield as opposed to the air in Costa Mesa, Sacramento, or Pueblo, Colorado? Is it really so dense in Bakersfield as to be remarkable?

[cripplecreek]

We don’t have too many ordinances around here. The township supervisor says they’re pointless because most of us would ignore them anyway.

[Vendome]

Cow farts...

[Mouton]

Today’s version of the Sheriff of Nottingham.

[umgud]

Is it really so dense in Bakersfield as to be remarkable?

The air here is usually pretty dense around this time of the year, but never as dense as the fog found in our regulators heads.

[SECURE AMERICA]

But if this improves the lives of four million people, to me, this is a reasonable ticket.

IF? You are fining people on an IF? I thought California was part of America??

[Tax-chick]

Good points.

[Magnum44]

More like today's version of Gestapo

[Venturer]

It’s crazy.

[Brandonmark]

They are coming to take away your personal choices....

[Oatka]

When Oliver Cromwell was in power, you had to keep your shutters open on Sunday so the constables could look in and confirm that you were not violating the Sabbath.

His descendants have popped up in California.

[blueunicorn6]

A smoke school take home test?
“Yep, that test burned up real good.”

[blueunicorn6]

This reminds me of the old WWII newsreels about the aircraft spotters.
“Headquarters....this is station 14. We have 12 Stukas inbound and old lady Johnson’s burning her leaves again. Rodger, the Spitfires will engage the Stukas and strafe old lady Johnson. Never have so many owed so much to so few tattling on people trying to stay warm.”

[bigbob]

I spose they’ve already thought of just calling in an air strike on any house emitting smoke...

[kiryandil]

Wonder why the victims don’t make the transaction “revenue neutral”?

[Svartalfiar]

Free tinder :)

[Don W]

Sadredin said the newly educated residents are often full no-burning converts.

Re-education camps have been constructed, and are undergoing testing now.

[matt1234]

Liberals reliably try to crush any form of self-sufficiency. That is the common thread to look for.

[jiggyboy]

Domestic “Predator” drones will be doing these inspections in five years or less, I’d bet.