I was waiting in my high school girlfriend’s living room before our date. Her Dad walked in with a pistol and sat down.
“Do you know what this is?” he asked me.
“Looks like a 44 magnum to me,” I replied. I know my pistols.
“Nope”, he said. “This is a panty pistol.”
“A panty pistol?”
“Yep. If my daughter’s pantys drop, so does the hammer on this pistol. Do you understand me?”
“Perfectly.”
His daughter and I went to the movie and then parked in the driveway at her home.
“He may have a panty pistol”, I said, “But I didn’t hear anything about a shorts shotgun, so I guess my pants can come down.”
Well, not only did he have an itchy trigger finger, he had ears like a german shepherd. The outside light came on and there he was on the front porch waving that cannon around. Nothing puts a damper on a romantic evening like the threat of lead perforating your epidermis. I screamed. He must have thought it was his daughter. He was running towards the truck and all I could see was my life flashing before my eyes, and since I was in high school, it was like a short documentary.
“Get out! Get out!” I screamed.
“Are we still going to the prom?” she asked.
“If I’m out of the hospital by then!”
The truck wouldn’t start.
He pointed the pistol at me.
“Say your prayers Romeo!”
I did the honorable thing and passed out.
When I came to, he had taped me to an apple tree. There was an apple on my head.
“Do you know the story about William Tell?, he inquired.
I passed out again.
When I came back around, I felt something dripping down my face and was sure it was my brains. It was applesauce.
“And that, Doctor, is why my hands shake when I eat applesauce.”
It's not the street thugs that people are buying guns to protect themselves from. Its the vast criminal enterprise called Mordor on the Potomic that has people arming up.
No bias in this metrosexual's writing, no sir....
That's like when they complain that the prison population keeps going up even through crime is going down.
Yeah, I am going to trust my safety and well being to THAT crew?
On Tuesday morning, Kelly OBrien - the fiancée of congressional staffer Gabe Zimmerman, who was killed in the Tuscon rampage - joined legislators for a press conference to endorse House and Senate bills banning high-capacity magazines, or assault clips.
They are trying to redefine the issue into a meme. Normal capacity mags are being propagandized into "assault clips." They know exactly what the difference is and are chanting the change in front of the masses...
The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence is also releasing a 30 second television ad, urging President Obama to take action to ban assault clips. The narrator of the ad, which will run on national cable, says:
A magazine that allows a gun to fire 32 shots in 16 seconds is only good for one thing - killing a lot of people, fast. And that's something we can live without. Assault clips: they make everyone a target. Tell President Obama to ban assault clips.
Here is a prime example of communist agenda "liberal progressive" mentally ill propaganda...
Pretty sick, huh? It is their concept of a "clever idea."
Nothing like seeing into the thought process of a bunch of nutjobs.
http://www.bradycampaign.org/legislation/msassaultweapons/highcapacity
.
Soon as the government thugs give up their high capacity magazines, I’ll give mine up. Them first!
Hey NY Times, there is one Dodge City in the USA, and it’s name is Chicago.
ROTLMAO. Will they ever get even the terminology right?