For some parents, having a retarded child is physically more than they can handle. For those who don’t know, it’s often literally like the ‘terrible twos’ that never end, with all that that implies. It’s no picnic.
In that event, I totally understand parents institutionalizing their child/adult. The problem is or at least was when I worked in the field, the vast majority who see their retarded/disabled kids as an embarrassment or a ‘stain’ on their family. I very much liken it to Muslims and their ‘honor killing’ ideas in the sense that somehow they feel that having a retarded child has shamed/besmirched their ‘honor’. So they simply throw them away and pretend they ‘never happened’. It’s an ugly thing to say but anyone who ever worked in the field will confirm it.
Institutions and more recently ARCs/Community Residence facilities serve a needed purpose, but I assure you, you did the right thing. BELIEVE ME. Very few people would or even could do what you did and that boy is more blessed because of it.
Would not trade him IF I could. That kid (14yrs now), we happlily take him everywhere with pride. I can go into a local store and the clerks will say "Hey N....", then give him something. The whole town loves him, he's a ham.
I do understand other parents who have, or feel they must put them away, I will not judge them.
Our next concern is where will he live in the future. He will of course learn to tend to his own needs, and will be busy looking at some kind of facility with apts., and they will give them work. Rest assurd will be very careful with that. Frankly I don't trust anyone to care for him as we do.
He has an older brother, that knows he will be responsible for him, and that is hard for me, as his brother deserves a life himself. Mother and Dad are going to finally need some time for themselves.
It has been on my mind, that perhaps he could come live with me, as I age (or digress in age), perhaps one day we will meet ages, rofl. Not sure if that would work out.
Not sure either of how long a life he may have, as his heart has a leak. Heart defect at birth, so he may only live to be around 40/50.
So nice speaking with you on this.