As I say it’s been a while, but FWIW in New York the county and state both had versions of assisted living/work facilities and of course there are private ones that can be an option if insurances/family finances can swing it. There are a number of options really.
Remember Rule 1. State/County facilities are run and often staffed by/with government liberals with -—EVERYTHING-— that it implies. But the most important thing I can POSSIBLY stress is to get the records of any facility you consider. Specifically, their policies regarding staffing and background checks. I just cannot emphasize this enough.
You will most likely encounter ‘abuse’ allegations at any facility you screen. It’s the nature of the beast. The opposite of parents who throw away their disabled kids are the parents who DO pay attention but think that every instance of a cut, bruise etc is a global conspiracy to violate their child. You really gotta read between the lines on a lot of those. That said, Bad things happen and sometimes seriously so. It’s a hell of a task to differentiate between the two based on the paperwork alone. And then there’s state/fed regs that demand every stubbed toe get a CAT scan and every scratch an investigation. Sometimes you just have to follow the gut instinct. If a facility has a string of similar episodes with different ‘clients’...well, smoke/fire and all that.
All in all, If you/family can find a way to generally keep him home and do an ‘outpaitent’ kinda thing with socialization/work in a supervised facility, that’s the way to go IMO FWIW. Barring that, bring him home on weekends religiously and weekdays randomly. Involved family with ‘rational expectations’ (and I cannot possibly stress that ‘rational’ part enough) make for happy and ‘attentive’ caregiver staff, happy and properly supervised ‘children’ (of any age) and fewer ‘problems’ of the unwanted variety.
See how blessed I am, discussing this issue with you is my new blessing, Thanks.
You can bet you boots, we will take all precautions in this. I can see the pain in his parents faces when we discuss it, but we must face the facts.
I would have no problem with him coming to live with me. The only problem is education, he is still in mainstream school, but after that is the what??? Can't let him idle, and I would not be able to assist much. He does need to be with others his age on a daily basis and do some type of work.
Frankly, I really don't see any type of institution for him, more like live at home and take him for some sort day out activity with others or work. I know of some private places, we will look into. He knows every xbox, wifi system there is and how to hook it up, and usually beats us all. Smarter than I am, lol.
Believe me, we will do what is BEST for that boy, and I rue the day if someone were to mess him up. His brother,6ft.225 lbs., on a short fuse when it comes to his brother. lol.
I am bookmarking this thread for refrence back to your posts.