Some kind of scoliosis or a broomstick has been inserted would be my guess.
As this situation appears to have all the indicators of a fully developed case of Boulder Dementia Syndrome, it is likely that scoliosis is not a factor. Given the probability of Boulder Dementia Syndrome, what “has been inserted” was most unlikely to be a broomstick.
Further the Guru typeth not, due to a rebellious gag reflex.
:-(