Skip to comments.Dave Says Do What You Need to Take Care of Kids
Posted on 04/25/2012 4:50:56 AM PDT by Kaslin
I just lost my job due to company-wide layoffs. I have an emergency fund, but Im losing my health insurance. Our state has a program that covers childrens healthcare in these kinds of situations. Would it be okay to accept this for my kids until I find another job and things get better?
Theres absolutely nothing wrong with accepting help when youre down or struggling. On the other hand, to define yourself as being down or struggling is a really bad thing. By this, I mean you should never just sit there, consider yourself helpless, and expect someone else to take care of you. Remember this: everyone falls down. Losers stay down, but successful people get back up!
If I woke up one morning and realized I had no insurance or couldnt feed my family because Id lost my job, Id be out looking for work all day long, every single day. If that didnt work, Id pack everyone up and go find another place to work and live. At the very least Id map out a plan to work and make money somewhere else during the week, then come home weekends.
You sound like a good dad, and I love the fact that youre thinking about your kids. Do whats necessary to take care of them right now, even if it means getting help from the state. Make sure youre out there busting it, and trying to make something happen in the job market, too. You shouldnt still be living this way six months from now!
I have tenants who have been perfect in paying rent on time for almost a year. Last month, the woman lost her job, and when I went to collect the rent the other day, she said she didnt have any money. Im pretty sure they used part of it for a car payment and the electric bill, and I know they need these things. Still, Im torn over how to handle this and how lenient to be.
Youre right, what they spent the money on were things they needed. At the same time, they probably knew the rent was due and when it was due. Since you know about their situation, and youre their landlord, it might be a good idea to offer to try and formulate a plan that would help them get through this tough time.
If it were me, Id sit down with them and make a budget and list of priorities. Food comes first, water and electricity after that, then rent, and finally the car. Get into their business a little, and find out what else is going on in their lives. You have to be fair and firm to be a quality landlord.
Id be willing to cut them some slack if theyre cooperative and honestly have to choose between feeding their kids and paying me. But if they insist on misbehaving with their money or having parties on the weekend, Id have no problem telling them to find another place to live.
The biggest thing is to treat them the way you would want to be treated if the roles were reversed. I think most people want to do whats right, but you want to feel good about extending mercy when, and if, its appropriate.
Has this guy ever heard of COBRA?
I understand the idea of taking when one is down and out.
I don’t understand the idea of being a Christian and taking on a full time basis.
I don’t mind giving a hand up.
COBRA is VERY expensive.
Not as expensive as buying your own which is what I do.
Not every employer has to offer COBRA. I don’t. Also, we’ve been landlords for 35 plus years. We actually paid someone to move out once who owed us $1500.00. He signed a promissory note for $2K which we figured we would never see but a year later we got a certified check in the mail. My husband works with tenants who can’t pay and with one or two exceptions, they always do.
A landlord needs to evaluate the loss due to delay in rent payments vs. the loss of income if he evicts this tenant and the unit is vacant, plus rehab costs. It’s a judgment call, based on his perception of the current tenant’s overall potential, the local rental market, and other factors.
Another idea might be to negotiate a break in the amount of the rent if they take over some maintenance projects, etc., for the short term. Could be a win-win, if the tenants are actually good people.
...as opposed to all the other talk show hosts out there advising you to show wanton neglect for your kids?
The father in the first letter should speak to local churches about need; it should be the Church, not the government, to whom the needy turn.
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