I think independence and dignity are overrated.
Or more seriously, they aren’t worth the cost of maintaining a separate residence, if there are adequate facilities available cheaper at a family home.
Historically, families stayed together much more than in modern times, with generations living in large houses or even smaller homes built on the same property. As a practical matter, why waste the money?
If a parent doesn’t want a child living at home, that’s a choice. But if the parent is OK with it, and the families get along, I don’t think we should stigmatize the arrangement by calling it “undignified”.
Of course, I moved out of my parent’s house right after I graduated college, so I’m not a “hanger-on”. I don’t expect to kick my kids out, but I probably would strongly encourage it after they are married. But if I can help them financially by putting them up for a while, at no real cost to myself, I will certainly offer. I get along well with my kids, so maybe others have a different perspective.
The problem with living with other people is that they tend to decide to control you, AND if they don’t like your personal philosophies, attitudes, values, or even your looks, they can toss you out the door leaving you with nothing.
It’s never good to be dependent upon family and friends if you don’t have to be. Human nature tends to take advantage of those who have few or no defenses.
Live as cheaply and wisely as you can, pay off your debt and don’t sell your soul to those who seek to control you for their own satisfaction. Stand on your own two feet!
If possible, and a second job is needed, divide the child care between you so that YOU are still raising your own child, yourselves. Adding child care expenses defeats the purposes of working. I’m not an advocate of dumping children off on others, to raise, especially for convenience sake. Children shouldn’t have to sacrifice their right to parents for the sake of paper fiat.
I think the advice person is totally correct.