Skip to comments.5 Questions: The porn effect on young men
Posted on 06/03/2012 9:46:27 AM PDT by thecodont
In HBO's new show "Girls," creator Lena Dunham conjures up an image of young men so inundated with online porn that they almost unwittingly try to reenact it in their own boudoir escapades.
The show is fictional, but Stanford University psychologist Philip Zimbardo believes there's a lot of reality to it. In a new e-book, "The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Struggle and What We Can Do About It," written with Nikita Duncan, Zimbardo theorizes that all those hours spent in front of a screen not just watching porn but playing video games too is leaving men in the dust socially, unable to relate to women and unable to function in society.
We talked to Zimbardo and Duncan about their research, discoveries and ideas for solutions.
(Excerpt) Read more at latimes.com ...
The entire article and most especially the hopeless comments at the site are a depressing shot of today’s cynical reality for our young people. Thank God 60s activists concerned about their well-being took all those harmful prayers out of schools and Commandments out of public places — NOT.
A lot of truth, but it leaves out the girls. Too many girls with unrealistic expectations of young men. Every young man has to look like Justin Bieber and entertain them 100% of the time. Many girls don’t just want to be loved, they want to be worshipped. Hollywood and Madison Avenue and Hugh Heffner have really messed things up.
It doesn't include talking or negotiation, it has no boundaries, not even foreplay...snip...You could have porn where sexuality is romantic.
Porn is exactly what men want it to be. Solving the biological urge. They don't want taking, or even worse, negotiation. I mean, isn't it every man's dream to get into a multi-week, bartering and negotiation session with a woman so he can release expel the poison? *roll eyes*
Taking care of an animalistic urge is one thing. Reducing sex to that alone has consequences for the society at large and results in less peace and prosperity. Said another way, reduce sex to just biological satisfaction, end up in a society of animals. Sex and love are interlinked. You can have one without the other, but you can’t have it without consequences. But hey, the humanists know what they’re doing, I’m sure I’m deluded because I’m clinging to my guns and religion.
I think it's a bad thing. But to engage in social engineering to make people want something else seems like a fool's errand and maybe smacks a little bit of socialism -- "I'm from the government, let me tell you what you find sexually stimulating."
And to try to remove porn from the marketplace goes against the free market, goes against the first amendment, and seems as likely to succeed as the drug war (less likely, actually).
I find the whole thing very depressing. We are such sinful creatures.
It’s the same with illegal drugs, market driven.
These pscho/sociological just floor me. They talk like they have really discovered something new and amazing. Oh parents have never known that their kids were sexual beings!
It is as though fathers and mothers did not for thousands of years try to keep their daughters away from men, they didnt chase young men that they knew were worthless away from their daughters.
No it is only in the last 60 years that social engineering of the liberal intellectuals that has so reprogrammed the modern mind that the amassed wisdom of human history has been driven from the minds of men.
In the past parents used many different social constructs to effectively control the sexuality of the young in most cases. But then came the nineteen sixties and Leftist Intellectuals thought that they could redesign society to be more fair and instead effectively destroyed what was the most fair society in human history by destroying the Western Christian Family.
Absolutely correct. Contemporary pop culture nurtures horribly narcissistic impulses in young women.
Eventually the Enlightened will “reason” their way right back to where conservatives have been all along: the notion that sexual license is NOT freedom, that it has consequences that enslave not just the promiscuous but all of society that has to bear the burden of sexual irresponsibility. However, the “solution” liberals will propose will pay fealty to the State (their god), not to the God of Ages, and laws will be demanded to enforce what morality should prescribe.
none of that is really true. All a man has ever needed was money to get a girl. Women are drawn to successful men and always have been.
The welfare state feeds the baby mommas, lesbians launch their snarky attacks from the boob tube, and the 49% of the population who are male are treated as knuckle dragging subhumans who constantly demean and hold back the 51% female 'minority'.
For decades, if not forever, young men have been willing to give their female counterparts what they wanted, as soon as they figured out just exactly what that was.
After a lifetime of bombardment and debasement, why would young men bother with the unpredictable variables of social interaction when they can just sit in front of the screen and achieve a reasonable facsimile of satisfaction--sans complications?
I'm not saying it's right, it isn't God's plan, but the deviation from that goes back far deeper in our culture.
The seductive titillation of first the nude form, and then increasingly hardcore video play hand in hand with the normal procreational urges of youth to make the genre popular, and the normal rapidly becomes dull.
That people act or think as they observe should be no surprise.
Watch a 5 year old who just watched an episode of Power Rangers.
Young men require less sophisticated porno to stimulate them. Just about anything will do.
As for older men, we are equally stimulated but have our own specifics and is generally individualized.
Some are. You ignore the 'outlaw' factor.
well.. for those men who have no cash... then yes the bar is very high and getting higher.
But if a fat old bald man can get a stunning beauty if he is rich.
SOME women will be attracted to a bald old man, this one will not, no matter how rich. That aside, It seems we have to relearn that sex is a zero sum game to most males.
Speaking of your wife, how is she doing these days?
She speaks of a lack of foreplay a lack of romance.
Why have either when young women are out getting Tramp stamps, and their tongue pierced to enhance oral sex.Just look for the stamp and the pierced tongue and you are guaranteed a good time.
Why buy the cow when the milk is free.Young women are passing out free love like never before. Maybe they are watching porn too. Once women were afraid of pregnancy, now with Birth Control and abortions they no longer have anything holding them back.
“Duncan: They are looking for something to guide them to show them the way to be a man.”
American Culure one provided that, but the Alinskies attacked it to produce chaos and they are winning. Our Culture no longer HAS a definition of what is a Man thus giving up any control of the outcome of the natural male desire to BE a man. The lads ar pretty much going to go off on their own and JUST TRY to reason with them after that point.
Men do best in a moral enviornment/culture. They will struggle either for the highest number of sluts and organisms (baby mamas) or the expression of the best in self control to demonstrate nobel integrity.
Feminazis have set men up for ruin - on purpose.
Actually there is a rather large problem - STDs.
Rampant but ignored by the MSM.
When I was that age in the 1960s, nobody gave a rip about health insurance.
Now that seems to be a huge issue for 20-somethings - and it's not because of birth control.
Actually there is a rather large problem - STDs.
Rampant but ignored by the MSM.
Actually, only filmmaker Judd Apatow addresses STDs (incurable herpes) in two of his movies, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek. But Apatow, who makes a point of showing (gently and with humor) his audiences the consequences of sexual activity, is the exception and not the rule.
***SOME women will be attracted to a bald old man, this one will not, no matter how rich.***
And that was the plot of many a Playboy cartoon 45 years ago.
Fat bald man setting at a bar talking to a young sweetie says...”I’m not really this tall. I’m setting on my wallet.”
Sweet young thing seen with an old Ogre of a man says to a friend...(points at her necklace)...”This is the famous HOPE diamond!...(Pointing to the Ogre) And this is the curse that goes with it!”
Texasfreeper2009 said stunning beauty, not a mousey average-looking chubface.
Porn...from early Playboy to hardcore today...I’m 54
just makes me horny
i assume it does most men
i think that is the intent
boys/men should remember that all women don’t look like that and nor will many do all that
and yes Virginia...I think much porn is over the top now
chickification? I suspect there is a big difference between metrosexuals struggling to be like women while still being heterosexual on one side and men who never bought the metrosexual sensitivity stuff.
Women and shoes, Men and breast’s ...... every pair deserves a good lookin over....
Stay safe WD !!
Wow, now that's cynical. I also doubt that it is as universally true as you seem to think it is. My wife of 20 something years now has earned waaaaay more than I ever did. Some banner years, she's paid more in taxes than I've made. All women aren't shallow. That's a myth that I hear most often repeated on FR.
“All a man has ever needed was money to get a girl. Women are drawn to successful men and always have been.”
In my single days I had a favorite line. “Yes, you guessed it, ha ha, I make a lot of money, ha ha.”
That line never failed, until I met this one beautiful 20 year old gal. She just ignored me and eventually laughed at me, but over time we became friends and just hung out together. After a year of just being buddies, we fell in love and got married.
So far it looks like we are going to make it, perhaps because we are still best friends and the honeymoon has never ended. BTW, that was over 40 years ago that she came into my life.
The closest I have ever been to porn was when I was about 14, by looking at the bra section in the old Sears catalogs... ;>) If you stare at those pages long enough, you can see right through those contraptions.... and if you take the time to study ‘em, you can even figure out how to unfasten them. LOL
“Feminazis have set men up for ruin - on purpose.”
You’re right, but in the process they made marriage and reproduction irrelevant. I can’t believe the number of 30 to 40 year-olds I see buying video games (I have young children - I loved arcade games when I was younger, but don’t “get” modern games and their systems); this is what many males in that demographic do instead of raising families now.
Since affirmative action has relegated them to second-class citizens in terms of school admissions and hiring/promotions; why shouldn’t they? Women are angry because men won’t behave like stallions put out to stud - they know better than to spend their lives supporting an ex-wife and children they barely see. Women don’t like the consequences of their legal war on men.
“Once women were afraid of pregnancy, now with Birth Control and abortions they no longer have anything holding them back.”
Once they hit the big 3 0 many women are desperate for pregnancy; I read a Readers Digest article years ago in which a young professional woman was chocked and disgusted by how many of her peers would get impregnated on purpose even if it meant deceiving the sperm donor and losing him in the process. I work with many women 50 and over who couldn’t even get the guys to marry them until they were safely past child-bearing age (at least in the men’s opinions); they are the angry witches that insist on including pets when someone suggests a company picnic for the employees’ children to enjoy.
The worm has turned 180 degrees on this; men should just keep their wits about them and make sure they aren’t “involuntary daddies”.
Men are ALWAYS the problem.
Karl Marx’s American Triumph
A recent book by Howard S. Schwartz entitled The Revolt of the Primitive: An Inquiry into the Roots of Political Correctness focuses on political correctness in higher education and women in combat in the military as examples of the success of the feminists in conducting a war against the American male’s masculinity.
While the author does not make this clear, such hatred of the male is actually the result of Karl Marx’s hostility to patriarchy that was a reaction to Hegel’s assertion that the family was the basic unit of society. This is a prime example of Karl Marx’s overpowering influence on America that makes it seem to have become Karl Marx’s America.
Someone needs to tell the idiots involved the project that what is needed is not something new, some new ‘solution’ but something “old” - some good “old” values.
Many of these women who happen to be divorced now want to do stuff sexually they would never had the nerve to ask their hubbies...they are in their second sexual prime and want to experiment.
I'm a male in my mid 20's..grew up with porn. Don't know anyone in my age group, male or female, where porn has become a such a problem that affects their daily lives.
This is just another "hyped" problem IMO.
My girlfriend and I watch it together on occasion to spice things up and it has never affected our relationship in a negative way. We are not hooked on it and have not progressed into weird stuff. It's a tool just like sexy undies and candle and romantic music.
A marriage counselor is in my building..has mentioned how porn has saved numerous marriages...cured the bland sex blues and wandering spouses. Don't hear about that much.
Tramp stamps, and their tongue pierced to enhance oral sex.Just look for the stamp and the pierced tongue and you are guaranteed a good time.
My young son tells me that the local highschool has two basic types of girls. The heavyset loud pushy girls who are embarrasing to be around because of their behavior... the boys call them the “herd.” And the overmadeup bleached blond anorexic girls who are loud, mean and pushy and are considered “hot.”
Trying to find a medium sized girl who is naturally pretty and has a bit of class is nigh unto impossible.
The other "myth" on FR is how bad the young generation is today...Most people my age are decent...really getting tired of hearing it TBH. Part of the problem with the internet..just hear about all the bad stuff and the good kids out there don't create any media sensationalism.
Talk about loosening morals and such crap among the generations....I work out at a University gym that is open to the general public...Women in their 40's and 50's who work out there are the very worst people...very sexually aggressive. They make women my age look like pikers in the sex department...how they talk to the young guys, flirt, etc
oh, and like you my GF makes double what I do. Never created any problems and she does not look down on me and I do not feel inferior..we were very best friends long before becoming lovers.
Maybe...I don't think everything the feminazi's have accomplished was bad for women. There were many good things that came out of it. Even conservative women sure do take advantages of many of the things "feminazis" have done for them such as equal pay, breaking the glass ceiling, maternity leave, on and on.
This problem is not entirely the fault of feminism..it is a very complex problem.
Feminazis (leftists) are not heterosexual feminists (conservatives). Yes, you can place the cultural cleansing of America at the feet of leftists.
Posted your quote of the day on the TX board...
Trailhkr1, you are very young, and your thoughts are heavily influenced by the propaganda you’ve absorbed. You “believe” that feminism is a good thing in part, but you are 100% wrong. Equal pay is not something feminists acheived. They still bitch and moan about it, but the fact is that most of the time IF women make less money it’s because of taking time off for child bearing, or they can’t do the same jobs as men as well, and so on.
Feminism isn’t the entire problem, homosexualism, porn, the normalization of sex outside of marriage and so on are all combined. But feminism is a main root - and men who embrace the feminist philosophy. Why are men to blame? Because they like feminism because feminism is an enemy of traditional marriage, feminine roles, motherhood and personal responsibility. Feminism paved the way for men to act like dogs and have casual sex with women without marriage or responsibility.
Abortion is central to feminism. With E-Z abortion, men can impregnate women, say “it’s your problem, get an abortion” and walk off.
I posted this on another thread today:
I place a lot of blame on feminism. The very foundation of feminism is evil. And it is no accident that the promoting of homosexuality started right around the same time as the whole shebang of feminism and the sexual revolution. Reducing humans to a set of genitals that rule and the rest of the body just follows their orders. I went to a few feminist womens liberation meetings run by UC Berkeley wymmyn in the late 60s, I was a teenager living on my own with a room mate in Berkeley. The room mate was a woman almost 30, a friend of a friend. I went to the meetings becase I was wild and crazy. There was free marijuana being passed around so I managed to sit through I think 3 meetings.
The feminists ranted on and on about Evil Patriarchy and by the last meeting I attended they started in on how much they hated all men, and lusted for other wymmyn. That was it for me, I knew even in my druggie condition that feminism was based on hatred and envy for men, perverted lust, and power madness. Then my room mate started making sexual advances which tied the lid on the creepy horribleness of feminism.
Feminism and homosexualism are joined at the hip, and hatred for all natural authority, which is ultimately God Himself as represented by Natural Law.
Agreed. Bitching about younger people is as old as...well...people. Plato is the earliest that I know of that was actually recorded for prosperity. My youngest son turns 20 here soon. He and his friends are decent caring people.
Sounds like you and your girlfriend will do just fine. One thing you will learn here is that FR is the worst possible place to ever get romantic advice.
Agree with you to a certain extent. My one (and only) wife of 27 years and I have four children. Two older boys and two younger girls, aged 18, 20, 22, and 24. The 22 year- old married his GF of 4.5 years 2 weeks ago.
We reared kids in your generation. All were public schooled. The two boys were Eagle Scouts and finished their 4 years hitches as Corporal NCOs in the USMC. All are in college: oldest son in Chemistry/Biology, married son is a Business major, oldest daughter is studying History in the UK next year, youngest is in animal science.
There are plenty of young people your age just like them. Many have sacrificed for their country and will lead productive lives if given an opportunity to build an economy freer of government intervention than there is now under Obama.
That said, it appears you have an awful lot of that feel-sorry-for-yourself going on there, being as new to this site as you are.
Porn is such a poor substitute for imagination. It's like needing a video game as a kind of crutch to help you figure something out that with any skill and patience you ought to be able to figure out on your own.
Stated another way, it's like having sex using a teleprompter, or cue cards.
You're young. No one your age should require an artificially-induced endogenous serotonin overdose like that just to get your mojo going.
Maybe your GF says she's into it, but when she's got to compete for your attention with the T's and A's of an assortment of other video vixens, that's likely to get pretty old for her pretty quick. It says you need to look at that to be stimulated by her. Maybe she's not the jealous type now -- or at least she seems that way to you.
'Course, she's just a GF now anyway. She'll likely feel a lot more differently about your porn proclivities, if she's looking at you someday for anything more serious than you already are - assuming the two of you believe in traditional marriage.
If you rely on a crutch like that at this age, chances are that you're going to need it later in life just to get it up in the first place. You don't realize this now, but clinical dependencies are like that. Might want to cut back on that dependency now while you can.
The people that make and produce those flix think little enough of themselves to do that stuff in front of a camera anyway. They have little or no self-respect already in order to prostitute their privacy like that. Drugs, rape entrainment, criminal element, mafia, exploitation, suicide -- are all very big parts of that industry. Knowing this, one wonders why someone would patronize it.
Since none of that "element" has anything at all to do with this site, I am just curious: Exactly what is it that you find attracts you to FreeRepublic?
Maybe you ought not jump the gun and diagnose the kid with a dependency without a proper examination first? That's presuming of course that even in a clinical environment that you are qualified to make such a diagnosis.
Better yet, perhaps you should drop the whole condescending shtick altogether? He's young, so he might miss the church lady bits like "or at least she seems that way to you." as though you know better. Give the kid enough credit that he just might know his own damned girlfriend better than you do. I think the odds are heavily in his favor since you don't know her at all.
I know young people are not all one thing! The freaks highlighted in the media are just that. Most of the young people I know through my sons are great.
About the porn, you should study about that. Go to google and tap in “brain shrinkage porn” and see if you come up with a study. Not everyone into porn becomes addicted to it but those who do, really wreck themselves sexually and every other way. The constant search for excitment is like a drug and it wrecks a person’s character and sex life like drugs wrecks the addict. They become numb to normal sex and dive into dark places.
The myth liberals have sold about porn is that sex is a pleasure that is physical and divorced from love and care. That is like saying a joint is for snacking. If you set up your brain and heart to divorce the experience of love’s bonding from sex, you are missing the actual high of sex.
Sex is created to be an experience of emotional and soul union in preparation for the strength you need to make it through being a loving and trustworthy husband and father. That bonding aspect of sex is the way you can have sex with the same person for a whole year and still find pleasure in sex with them. If it is just physical, it is boring after a time. People break up all the time when they no longer find sex appealing and that is because sex is shallow in their pornish understanding and experience. They cheat looking for excitment. Which leads to divorce and you know all the mental, social and economic wreckage that comes with that. To have sex be what it was created to be, there are a lot of rules around it to protect it so you can have the soul level of experience that carries you through fatherhood and manhood. It is the difference between something sacred and something of a debased nature.
I’m glad you are here on free republic. I hope you know that we don’t look at young people as a herd of negative television images. I don’t. I hope you will understand what I have written here and that I have not hurt your feelings.
I cant believe the number of 30 to 40 year-olds I see buying video games (I have young children - I loved arcade games when I was younger, but dont get modern games and their systems)
There are three different gaming systems in my home. My wife and I are both over forty and we enjoy playing action, fantasy and RPG video games together.
It is definitely a big part of their business, and playing them together beats sitting on bar-stools. The store always seems busy, while our bowling alleys, bars, and theaters not so much.
I can’t move my fingers fast enough, or use the button combinations quickly enough, to play them (my kids have asked me to play, and I’ve tried, but I stink at it). We were at a campground in the Poconos a few years ago, and they had an old “Time Pilot” machine. I’d had the record in that for years at a local arcade when I was 13 (they’d put your name above the machine with the score, and give you a free soda), and I decided to give it a go in my late thirties. It took over twenty minutes, but I got the high score on my first quarter - and my hands were numb afterwards.
All the power to you!
“Trying to find a medium sized girl who is naturally pretty and has a bit of class is nigh unto impossible.”
The lack of quality isn’t just limited to high school...