W. Pa. woman jailed in marshmallow fork attack

wfmj.com ^ | 14 June 2012 | BCT

[smokingfrog]

OHIOVILLE, Pa. (AP) - A western Pennsylvania woman has been jailed on charges she attacked her son's father with a fork used to roast marshmallows, and bit the man when he tried to remove her from the residence.

Online court records don't list an attorney for 23-year-old Sarah Chambers, of Ohioville Township.

The Beaver County Times (http://bit.ly/KpQAZ7 ) reports Thursday that Chambers was arrested shortly after 7 p.m. Tuesday when police were called to the residence, where neighbors saw the alleged victim being bitten while he was dragging Chambers outside the house.

Police say Chambers told them, "Take me to jail now" when they arrived to find the man with a cut on his head, a six-inch gash inside his left thigh, and multiple puncture wounds on both legs.

[smokingfrog]

[goseminoles]

Forking bastard..

[Telepathic Intruder]

Marshmallow forks don’t kill people, people kill people.

[Venturer]

It says her son’s father. Not her husband.

Let me guess.

[Moltke]

Marshmallow fork? When I was kid that was generally known as a “stick”. (What’s a gooey marshmallow without bits of bark and the odd ant?)

[mykroar]

Fork me? Hey Vonnegut, can you read lips? Fork you!?!

[muawiyah]

This is a domestic dispute nonetheless. If the Indiana law had been in place in Pennsylvania the cops would have been well advised to stand aside and wait for the warrant to arrive ~ and well back of the marshmallow fork.

Uh, that warrant is just to make sure it was a legal catch and toss ~

[gundog]

Don’t forget: baby-daddy day is Sunday.

[smokingfrog]

You want s-more of dat?

[6SJ7]

The Perp.

[Buckeye McFrog]

This must be Lunatic News Day here in Western Pennsylvania.

We also have a cop breaking into houses to do his dirty laundry.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2150680/Police-officer-arrested-breaking-neighbours-house-LAUNDRY.html?ITO=1490

[smokingfrog]

Just a dirty cop trying to clean up his act...

[youngidiot]

People kill people. And sometimes marshmallow forks kill people too. Also, stairs and chicken bones.

[SoothingDave]

Sophisticated Yinzers use one of these.

[SIDENET]

The only answer is to ban marshmallow forks.

[Moltke]

That spells “singed knuckels” to me...(too short for a decent campfire). But a very servicable offensive weapon!

[calex59]

Marshmallow fork? When I was kid that was generally known as a “stick”. (What’s a gooey marshmallow without bits of bark and the odd ant?)

The odd ant I can understand but a person should peel the bark off of the end of the stick you impale the marshmallow on. Now, the occasional tree sap soaked into the marshmallow, sure, but bark? Never:)

[Focault's Pendulum]

It says her son’s father. Not her husband. Let me guess.

Ya think?

[Telepathic Intruder]

Don't forget robots.