Wed column ping
So much passion, so little promise
By Howie Carr | Wednesday, September 5, 2012 | http://www.bostonherald.com | Columnists
Photo by Christopher Evans
As laughable as it seems, Gov. Deval Patrick must be running for president in 2016 the way he was trying to thread the needle last night at the Democratic National Convention.
He mentioned the word “God” twice, risky rhetoric among a group of moonbats who had just excised the dangerously radical right-wing phrase “God-given” from their America Last platform earlier in the day.
Of course, Deval did it at the very end of his speech. And only after he’d mentioned gay marriage not once, not twice, but three times.
For many years now, Deval has been Mini-Me to President Obama’s Dr. Evil. So they had to give him some consolation prize on the convention’s pro-am night. Among the other predictably PC speakers were a gay Jewish congressman whose partner’s name is Marlin; Rhode Island Gov. Lincoln “I hate Curt Schilling [stats]” Chafee; and Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley, who’s so thick he thinks a straight white guy with an Irish surname has a future in this outfit.
The keynote speaker was someone named Castro — Julian, to be exact. I guess the Castro the Democrats really wanted to hear from — Fidel, or failing that, Raul — couldn’t get the ’56 DeSoto seaworthy for the trip to Key West.
Deval’s assignment was to put the blast on his predecessor as governor, Mitt Romney.
“He’s a fine fellow and a great salesman,” Deval said patronizingly. “But as governor, he was a lot more interested in having the job than doing the job.”
Takes one to know one, I guess.
Now, Deval explained, Massachusetts is “investing” in the future. We lead the nation in “energy efficiency,” whatever that is.
But Massachusetts isn’t just about gay marriage. It’s about abortion, too. It’s up to you whether you want to keep “an unwanted pregnancy.” Not for nothing is Boston known as Sodom and Begorrah.
“We place our hopes not in trickle-down fantasies but in our values.”
Just ask Carl Stanley McGee.
“What do we believe?” Deval asked, as if he didn’t know, and maybe he doesn’t. But then he answered his own question. Massachusetts is about “helping people help themselves to the American dream.”
Especially crooked House speakers. And illegal aliens and jailbirds with EBT cards and X registrations.
“It’s time for Democrats to grow a backbone and stand up for what we believe.”
More handouts for Aunt Zeituni and Uncle Omar.
“I for one will not stand by and let him be bullied out of office.”
And we know Deval means it. Because he’s a street-fightin’ man. He had an empty aluminum Coke can bounced off his noggin on the mean streets of the South Side. Bad bad Leroy Brown got nothing on Deval Patrick.
Another guy from Illinois summed this speech up perfectly. The world will little note nor long remember what Deval said. It was a lot like his book, and his career.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1061157989
Menino no ‘mordel’ speaker
By Howie Carr | Thursday, September 6, 2012 | http://www.bostonherald.com | Columnists
Mumbles Menino will never let you down.
Right out of the box yesterday at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, he introduces himself to the crowd of delegates.
“I come from Boston ... where millions of students have come to study, and ‘cluding’ a great American name, Martha Luther King Jr.”
That’s what he said, Martha Luther King Jr. Any relation to BU grad Martin Luther King Jr., Mumbles? He was a Republican, you know.
Speaking of Republicans, that was Mumbles’ assignment, taking down Mitt Romney a few pegs. Even Mumbles had to admit “we worked together pretty well” — like before the 2004 Democratic convention, when Mitt and Mumbles got together to save Liveshot Kerry’s convention while he played Hamlet up in Louisburg Square. But that was then, and this is now, and it’s time to put the blast on Willard.
“His campaign’s based in Boston, a city mooing forward.”
Not moving, mooing.
Then Mumbles moved onto Romneycare.
“Gov. Romney is now running away from his major accomplishment — a health care reform he called a mordel for the nation.”
A mordel for the nation.
“He promised to bing business to the state.”
You know, bing. As in Crosby. Rhymes with ping.
What a mistake not to let Mumbles speak in prime time. How the hell did the Democrats ever expect to snag any eyeballs against the NFL opener with all the usual suspects, “activist” Sandra Fluke and somebody from Planned Parenthood, not to be confused with the woman from NARAL who spoke on Tuesday night. Can’t get enough of that good abortion talk.
Mumbles was booked into a tough slot. The delegates were in a surly mood. They’d been booing the attempt by the party leaders to put the words “God” and “Jerusalem” back into the platform. All these no-nonsense Educators for Obama and SEIU for Barack types weren’t going to put up with this Tea Party-birther nonsense about “God.” Now, if they’d wanted to put “Allah” in there ... that would have been celebrating diversity.
But then they brought on Mumbles for some comic relief.
“He disguised taxt hikes as ‘fees.’ ”
What a guy. And Joe Timilty’s former driver is still pandering to all the New Bostonians.
“In Boston you know what we call immigrants?”
Auntie Zeituni?
“You know what we call same sex couples?”
Barney and Dude?
Democrats, your ratings are down. For the love of Allah, bring Mumbles back for an encore tonight.
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1061158278