You need to get out a little more too. This is not 1985 and the era of mail order brides. I am not sure which “third world countries” you are referring but all but the poorest countries are more mobile now. Women in other countries have way more options these days and it “makes me laugh” to see those who are too provincial to realize it.
What's more likely; that all American women are crazy bitches, or that you're just not looking in the right place or doing the things to make yourself attractive to quality American women?
The answer is easy.
And if it's "provincial" for a red blooded Texas conservative man to marry a beautiful red blooded Texas conservative Texas woman, then guilty as charged! Haha. You must be one of those "citizen of the world" types.