Reporting as ordered, Sir
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The peg legged Pirate, with a hook for hand and eye patch is putting down some Rum.
“What happened to your leg”?
“British sloop, caught a cannonball in ankle, had to amputate leg”.
“Hand?”
“British man o’war, caught up in hand to hand and a sabre got me at the wrist”.
“Eye?”
“Fly landed on me nose, I went to swat it and forgot the hook”.