"Stand up Tom! Oh, God, what have I done? Tom Kaine isn't even here! Anyone know where Tom is?
Oh, you're Tim Kaine? Are you Tom's brother? Can you give him a call and tell him to get right over here because the vice-president, and admittedly not the best one ever, wants to congratulate him in person for being such a great guy.
What? Tom Kaine isn't running for the Senate? Well, he should be. Hey, Tim Kaine, since your brother isn't running, why the hell don't you run?
You look like you've got a good set of billiard balls there in your pants!
Hey, is your wife hot? Does she have nice knockers? Where the hell is she? You're not gay, are you? Drag her out here.
I hope she isn't from India or Pakistan. She doesn't run a convenience store, does she?"
Hilarious. Thanks for that.