Divorce still damages children: Suffering goes on into adulthood and even old age

Click, click click- a whole bunch of very serious puzzle pieces in my emotional junk-drawer just came together in understanding why certain things are the way they are in my life.

Thank you- this thread has hit home like no other. Going to donate to FR today in appreciation.

That is to ignore the elephant in the room: divorce is like cutting the Gordian knot. It solves nothing, it only destroys. It promises happy outcomes it does deliver. Sort of like adultery, or getting drunk. The hangover is worse than the pain you are trying to escape.

Let me see... the old bastard was physically and mentally abusive to me, and nothing I ever did was good enough for him.

My fraternal twin was his favorite to such an extent that not only we sisters were jealous, but my mother was jealous too. It's a very stupid man who does that.

And yeah, there have been other men for whom nothing was ever good enough. Fortunately I'm with someone better now.

Oh, yeah, I'm 6'1"' and although I am not and was not ugly, there have been times when it has been painful to see that a lot of men prefer women who are a lot smaller, less intelligent, etc., than they themselves are.

One ex-boyfriend had an ex-girlfriend from hell. About 5 feet tall with big boobs, and a real beeyotch in many ways, including promiscuity and multiple children out of wedlock. I hated her for the way she treated my ex and those kids, and also other men. But as long as her looks held out, she could get away with outrageous things. Made her look dumb, and made the men look dumb too for having anything to do with her.

Yes, it might have been nice to have more of a choice, instead of merely taking what I could get.

Anyway, I'm glad there are some decent men in this world. I finally got together with one.

He seemingly took more pleasure in withholding things than giving them. If he gave us something, he was likely to take it back when he next got irritated.

My (hardcore leftist education-establishment) stepmother was the same way. I eventually stopped seeking to engage in any activity that she could take away, and missed much that would've been worthwhile in my high school years because of it.

When I realized how to Galt a control freak like her and started to do so, things went from bad to worse. I got thrown out and sent to live with relatives in a distant city.

That ended up being a positive thing in the end, though. I finished HS in a new school and began to see that there was something other than illogical, dysfunctional leftism in the world (thanks Andy S. at CHS for pointing me in the right direction).

Look, a lot of us grow up with a world of pain and problems. I'm at last to the oint in my life (now 59) that I realize I've just got to work with the hand I've been dealt, and do the best I can. Yes, I might have been able to do better, but I also know I can't change history.

Still, if I ever do go back to Miami, I will piss on the family graves (father's side). The last uncle on that side promised me he was remembering me in his will, but it was total BS. The lawyers told me there was nothing in the will or trust for my sisters and me.

At least I've always been willing and able to work to support myself, even if I wasn't doing a lavish job of it. We're going to get out of California hopefully soon. Right now, I figure that once we get to northern Arizona, we can save significantly on rent and utilities. Maybe we'll even own property at some point.

Life has been difficult at times, but it's still a gift.

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