Posted on 11/19/2012 1:11:27 PM PST by jazusamo
Few things can make you appreciate home like staying in a hotel. This includes not only low-budget, bare bones hotels but also sweepingly large and ornate luxury hotels. What many hotels seem to have in common are needless hassles.
Since most people who stay in hotels do so while traveling, and stay only a few days in a given hotel, you might think that those who run hotels would want to make it easy for someone who arrives a little tired (or a lot tired) from traveling to use the various devices they find in their hotel room. But you would be wrong. That thought never seems to have crossed their minds.
Recently, at a well-known luxury hotel in Los Angeles, I found that something as simple as turning on a television set can require a phone call to the front desk, and then waiting for the arrival of a technician. Then it took another phone call to get a list of which of the dozens of channels were for which networks.
Why the turning on of a television set should be anything other than obvious to a newly arrived hotel guest is apparently a question that never occurred to the people who ran this hotel. Nor did it apparently ever occur to them that someone just arriving from a journey might want to be able to relax, instead of having to cope with complications that the hotel could easily have avoided.
The next morning, in the shower, I found myself confronted with a dazzling array of knobs and levers, none of which provided any clue as to what they did. The lever rotated and four of the surrounding knobs both rotated and tilted forward and backward.
(Excerpt) Read more at creators.com ...
Yeah, but that only works if the containers are see-thru. :)
This is typical of businesses that define value FOR the customer instead of listening to the customers idea of value.
They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh.
Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel, “G**DAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”
Well, the rule sometimes applies to the containers as well. Plus, if you’re like me, you don’t use conditioner anyway, so if they’re both milky and you put one in and it doesn’t lather, rinse it out and use the other one.
You wouldn’t want that TC.
They would come back with bedbugs. ;-)
Any phone number given to Hilton hotels will result in that phone being called forever with more and more telemarketing sales. Never give out a real phone number to hotels. I usually find the corporate phone number of the hotel and give them that one. Never has an employee caught that the number was their own.
An excellent idea.
The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests last year. The hotel ended up submitting the letters to the Sunday Times.
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Imperial Leather. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management are to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
Dear Maid,
I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening, I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Imperial Leather, so I won’t need those 6 little Camays, which are on the shelf. They are in the way when shaving, brushing teeth etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman
Dear Mr Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you.
Elaine Carmen > Housekeeper
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don’t get back before 5:30 or 6.00 PM. That’s the reason I called Mr Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet, along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap.
Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman
Dear Mr Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and to remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM.
Thank you,
Elaine Carmen, > Housekeeper
Dear Mr Kensedder,
My bath-size Imperial Leather is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room, including my own bath-size Imperial Leather. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
Dear Mr Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder Assistant Manager > > >
Dear Mrs Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don’t want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Imperial Leather. Do you realise I have 54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath-size Imperial Leather. Please give me back my bath-size Imperial Leather.
S. Berman
Dear Mr Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr Kensedder that all your soap was missing, so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don’t know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps, so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don’t know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Imperial Leather. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen > Housekeeper > > >
Dear Mrs Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
* On the shelf under the medicine cabinet -18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
* On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1stack of 3.
* On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
* Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
* In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
* On the northeast corner of the tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
* On the northwest corner of the tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3. Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-size Imperial Leather, which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman
I even pack my own "adult beverages" as the mini-bars in these hotels tend to make everything smaller and more expensive.
I just read this to my wife and our ribs are hurting from laughing so hard.
Oy, I’d forgotten about bedbugs! (We just have bed-cats at our house ;-).
LOL!
Keep your brood out of hotels, and you shouldn’t have to worry about bedbugs.
Have you watched any of Gordan Ramsey’s Hotel Hell? It’s on Youtube. Between that and his Kitchen Nightmare series, I may never leave my home for food and lodging again.
Yes, I think we saw an episode or two of “Hotel Hell” while we were at the lake house in September.
Even compared to a fairly high-end vacation property, I still prefer my own home ... although I wouldn’t mind if it had a dock and a lake view!
At least if your home is dirty, it’s your dirt.
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