For anyone w/gout, white meat is less likely to trigger an attack. Brining the turkey leaves the white meat moist.
I agree this must be satire.
The author didn’t mean it as satire but I am predicting that he will PRETEND that it is satire after he is widely mocked for his article. The same thing happened to Sheryl Crowe after she suggested that people use just ONE square of toilet paper and after she was laughed at for the suggestion, she claimed she was just kidding.