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A Hidden Crime: Domestic Violence Against Men Is a Growing Problem
DailyFinance.com ^ | January 30, 2010 | Bruce Watson

Posted on 12/03/2012 5:43:28 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Amid the media frenzy over Tiger Woods and Bengals receiver Chris Henry, a key aspect of both stories slipped through the cracks: Like millions of other men, Woods and Henry were -- allegedly at least -- the victims of domestic violence perpetrated by their wives or girlfriends. Beyond its brutal physical and psychological costs, domestic violence against men exacts a cruel economic toll at the personal, societal and national levels.For the most part, the media, authorities and average citizens see domestic violence as a crime that is committed by men and victimizes women. Consequently, funding to combat the problem has overwhelmingly been spent on programs that support women.

Widely Ignored Problem

And yet, more than 200 survey-based studies show that domestic violence is just as likely to strike men as women. In fact, the overwhelming mass of evidence indicates that half of all domestic violence cases involve an exchange of blows and the remaining 50% is evenly split between men and women who are brutalized by their partners.

Part of the reason that this problem is widely ignored lies in the notion that battered males are weak or unmanly. A good example of this is the Barry Williams case: Recently, the former Brady Bunch star sought a restraining order against his live-in girlfriend, who had hit him, stolen $29,000 from his bank account, attempted to kick and stab him and had repeatedly threatened his life.

It is hard to imagine a media outlet mocking a battered woman, but E! online took the opportunity to poke fun at Williams, comparing the event to various Brady Bunch episodes. Similarly, when Saturday Night Live ran a segment in which a frightened Tiger Woods was repeatedly brutalized by his wife, the show was roundly attacked -- for being insensitive to musical guest Rihanna, herself a victim of domestic violence.

Lack of Research

Sometimes it is impossible to ignore the problem, but when domestic violence against men turns deadly -- as in the case of actor Phil Hartman -- the focus tends to shift to mental illness. The same can be said of the Andrea Yates case, which many pundits presented as the story of how an insensitive husband can drive a wife to murder.

Much of the information on domestic violence against men is anecdotal, largely because of the lack of funding to study the problem. Although several organizations explore domestic violence, the biggest single resource is the Department of Justice, which administers grants through its Office on Violence Against Women.

For years, the DOJ has explicitly refused to fund studies that investigate domestic violence against men. According to specialists in this field, the DOJ recently agreed to cover this problem -- as long as researchers give equal time to addressing violence against women.

First National Study

Researchers Denise Hines and Emily Douglas recently completed the first national study to scientifically measure the mental and social impact of domestic violence on male victims. Interestingly, their research was funded by the National Institutes of Mental Health, not the DOJ. Not only does this demonstrate the lack of resources for researchers of this issue, but it also suggests that male battering is perceived as a mental health issue, not a crime.

This decriminalization of domestic violence against men affects research conclusions. While survey-based studies have found that men and women commit domestic violence in equal numbers, crime-based studies show that women are far more likely to be victimized. This inconsistency begins to make sense when one considers that man-on-woman violence tends to be seen through a criminal lens, while woman-on-man violence is viewed more benignly.

A recent 32-nation study revealed that more than 51% of men and 52% of women felt that there were times when it was appropriate for a wife to slap her husband. By comparison, only 26% of men and 21% of women felt that there were times when it was appropriate for a husband to slap his wife. Murray Straus, creator of the Conflict Tactics Scale and one of the authors of the study, explained this discrepancy: "We don't perceive men as victims. We see women as being more vulnerable than men."

Kneed In The Groin

This trend becomes particularly striking when one considers the 1996 case of Minnesota Vikings quarterback Warren Moon, who tried to restrain his wife after she threw a candlestick at his head and kneed him in the groin. Subsequently charged with spousal abuse, he was only acquitted after his wife admitted that she attacked him -- and that her wounds were self-inflicted. Ironically, her admission of fault did not result in charges being brought against her.

While Moon's trial was particularly high profile, his situation is actually very common. In fact, studies have found that a man who calls the police to report domestic violence is three times more likely to be arrested than the woman who is abusing him.

The mainstream perception of domestic violence also impacts the resources that are available to battered men. For example, the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women, the only national toll-free hot line that specializes in helping male victims of domestic violence, has faced numerous roadblocks in its search for funding. In Maine, where the helpline is based, the surest route to funding is through membership in the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence.

On A Shoestring

But, according to Helpline director Jan Brown, the Coalition refused to even issue the program an application for membership, effectively denying it access to funding. Today, 45 Helpline volunteers field 550 calls per month, 80% of which are from men or people who are looking for help on behalf of a man. Operating with a yearly budget of less than $15,000, it provides intensive training to its workers and offers victims housing, food, bus tickets and a host of other services.

The Helpline's sheltering services are informal and ad hoc, largely because its lack of access to funding makes a shelter financially impossible. In fact, of the estimated 1,200 to 1,800 shelters in the U.S., only one -- the Valley Oasis shelter in Antelope Valley, Calif. -- provides a full range of shelter services to men. And, on average, less than 10% of OVW funds allocated to fight domestic violence are used to help men.

For male victims of domestic violence, the legal system can become another tool for abuse. As in the Moon case, battered men are often likely to find themselves arrested, even when they are the ones who call the police. And, even after the arrest, the process of incarceration, restraining orders, divorce court and child custody hearings continue to disadvantage men.

A High Cost

Restraining orders are a particularly difficult hurdle. Radar Services, a watchdog organization, estimates that approximately 85% of the roughly 2 million temporary restraining orders that are issued every year are made against men. In many states, the requirements for an order are exceedingly vague: In Oregon, for example, a "fear" of violence is sufficient for a restraining order, while Michigan issues them to protect family members against "fear of mental harm."

But there's nothing vague about the effect of restraining orders: They often turn men out of their homes, deny them access to children and result in further personal costs as millions of men have to find new places to live, hire lawyers and pay other expenses. For some men, as Hines and Brown point out, the legal system gives abusive wives and girlfriends tools to continue attacks even after their relationships end.

As Straus notes, "The preponderance of [domestic violence] resources should be made available to women. They are injured more often, are more economically vulnerable, and are often responsible for the couple's children. That having been said, more resources need to be made available to men."

There is no doubt that domestic violence against men can be reduced; the domestic violence initiatives of the past 40 years have brought a hidden crime to light and provided protection for millions of women. The next step is to admit that domestic violence is not a male or female problem, but rather a human problem, and that a lasting solution must address the cruelty -- and suffering -- of both sexes.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Government
KEYWORDS: domesticviolence; men; sexism; women
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An oldie but a goodie.
1 posted on 12/03/2012 5:43:33 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: 3D-JOY; abner; Abundy; AGreatPer; Albion Wilde; AliVeritas; alisasny; ALlRightAllTheTime; ...

PING!


2 posted on 12/03/2012 5:44:30 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Obama should change his campaign slogan to "Yes, we am!" Sounds as stupid as his administration is.)
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To: 3D-JOY; abner; Abundy; AGreatPer; Albion Wilde; AliVeritas; alisasny; ALlRightAllTheTime; ...

PING!


3 posted on 12/03/2012 5:45:25 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Obama should change his campaign slogan to "Yes, we am!" Sounds as stupid as his administration is.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Oh give me a break, puhleeez.


4 posted on 12/03/2012 5:45:40 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

“violence against men is anecdotal, largely because of the lack of funding to study the problem”

hahahaha

how about because few are reported, maybe because few are happening


5 posted on 12/03/2012 5:50:22 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I once knew a guy (appropriately nicknamed “Flaco”) who was married to a woman twice his size who used to kick his arse on a regular basis. When he complained to his FIL he kicked his arse for being a skinny wuss.


6 posted on 12/03/2012 5:53:17 AM PST by fidelis (Zonie and USAF Cold Warrior)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Tiger Woods is a damn poor example.

He got what was coming to him, and it should have been more.


7 posted on 12/03/2012 5:54:34 AM PST by Venturer
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To: yldstrk

Please explain.


8 posted on 12/03/2012 5:56:18 AM PST by Hulka
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

What about psychological abuse? When, in every “argument” the wife threatens to call the police and take the children away? Did they study that?


9 posted on 12/03/2012 6:01:50 AM PST by raybbr (People who still support Obama are either a Marxist or a moron.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I know for a fact that some women will beat themselves with their fists or other such ‘tools’ to produce bruises, black eyes, cuts, scratches and anything else that would tend to support their claims that a man had been the perpetrator.

They know that if they play the domestic abuse card well enough, that the man will be ordered out of his own home and possibly put into jail where he’ll lose his job, his kids and otherwise good reputation. Meanwhile, the alleged victim can continue living in the home with standing protection orders while the bills are still being paid by the incarcerated home and property owner.

They are smart in a bad way...A VERY bad way. They’re a menace to society.


10 posted on 12/03/2012 6:03:42 AM PST by equaviator (There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Tiger Woods? Look, when you go out and bang other chicks when you're married, you're going to get trouble, and no sympathy from me.
11 posted on 12/03/2012 6:05:15 AM PST by Darren McCarty (If most people were more than keyboard warriors, we might have won the election)
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To: yldstrk

And what about the sheer emotional violence perpetrated by wives whenever they give their hubbies “The Look”?


12 posted on 12/03/2012 6:08:22 AM PST by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
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To: raybbr

That’s another 50 years down the road. Study the physical abuse first.....NOT that the psychological abuse leads to the physical, or anything like that. /s


13 posted on 12/03/2012 6:12:32 AM PST by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: yldstrk

I have noticed a greater public evidence of the violence in younger women and teenage girls towards each other (friends!) and towards guys. Go through facebook and read how they post.

Typically, men act out, but women do other things. Women are no less evil than men and watch, it will get worse, especially with the effects of the media portraying men as dumb and dumber.

You scoff, but if a guy is being beaten or verbally abused, and he won’t even ask for directions, do you really think he is going to say a word about it? We can’t even get our depressed and stressed vets to talk to their buddies about it. We lose 1 veteran to suicide every 18 hours. Guys just don’t talk! Finding them and getting them back on track is the greatest challenge.


14 posted on 12/03/2012 6:16:58 AM PST by huldah1776
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To: rockinqsranch

A member of our family had his life nearly ruined by a vengeful druggie wife who falsely accused him of violence. It took many months of legal fees to fight off the charges even though she was sent to jail twice for drugs and embezzlement.
Finally he got sole custody of the kids and then it took another year to get the restraining order on him removed.
Women/wives now have the power to ruin the life of any man..with no evidence with one phone call to 911 and one court appearance for a restraining order.
The man is assumed guilty..no evidence of violence needed..just her word.


15 posted on 12/03/2012 6:21:54 AM PST by Oldexpat
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To: yldstrk

I disagree. If a man has been raised to never hit a woman and a woman beats on him, most won’t hit back.

I read a legal board and on domestic violence if the law is called it is the man who gets arrested unless he is bleeding or something. It doesn’t matter who calls the law.

In divorce and custody cases one of the first accusations is physical abuse and then it is up to the man to prove that he didn’t abuse. They take the position that the man really COULD hurt the little wifey or the children and just the accusation is enough to raise real questions.


16 posted on 12/03/2012 6:26:14 AM PST by tiki
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

The lesson here, as unbelievable as it may seem to some, is one sex isn’t morally superior to the other.


17 posted on 12/03/2012 6:28:11 AM PST by skeeter
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To: Venturer

Now that it’s not a current topic, and not something to be really cranked up about one way way or the other, Tiger actually is a good example.
He cheated on her, repeatedly. Ok, so she can walk out the door, call a lawyer and collect a few hundred million she had nothing to do with creating, etc.
But she smashed him in the face with a golf iron as he sat facing away from her on the sofa.
If he hit her in the head with an iron the same way, he would have been arrested for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.
In your mind, he should have been attacked worse? Amazing.


18 posted on 12/03/2012 6:44:14 AM PST by DesertRhino (I was standing with a rifle, waiting for soviet paratroopers, but communists just ran for office.)
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To: tiki

“If a man has been raised to never hit a woman and a woman beats on him, most won’t hit back”.

I agree. I know personally one man that was abused by his wife. To be fair, he wasn’t a “typical” person. By that, I mean he was born a preemie, was short in stature, petite in frame, and wore hearing aids. He married a gal who was short.. but four inches taller than he is and weighed at least 100+ pounds heavier. Long story short, she hospitalized him several times. Finally, his sister visited him in the hospital and asked him what she feared (but no one ever questioned or asked aloud). Could he have defended himself? Yes. However, he was raised to never, EVER hit a woman. He made his sister promise him that she would never tell their Father. He was ashamed but tried to stay married (Catholic). He finally left her and filed for divorce when his sister asked him if he wanted to be buried next to their Mother or closer to her. To be honest, after the stitches, broken eye orbit, broken clavical... it was just a matter of time. Happy ending of the story is he is remarried to a nice woman with two children.


19 posted on 12/03/2012 6:47:16 AM PST by momtothree
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To: tiki

“if the law is called it is the man who gets arrested unless he is bleeding or something”

Even if he’s bleeding, the cops will say his injuries were caused by the woman defending herself against his attack. No kidding.


20 posted on 12/03/2012 6:53:06 AM PST by DesertRhino (I was standing with a rifle, waiting for soviet paratroopers, but communists just ran for office.)
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To: DesertRhino

If mental anguish were a crime most women would be criminals...lol


21 posted on 12/03/2012 7:00:31 AM PST by jsanders2001
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To: jsanders2001

Men are hit with restraining orders every single day for emotional abuse if it causes them “fear”. They are often arrested too on the same basis. It’s a standard part of the dirty tricks package for some divorce lawyers.


22 posted on 12/03/2012 7:04:11 AM PST by DesertRhino (I was standing with a rifle, waiting for soviet paratroopers, but communists just ran for office.)
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To: yldstrk

...because not being reported.

There is nothing to help any straight male targets. Men who seek help will lose the children and will be seen as having a mental problem.

The easiest targets are men who treat women with respect. ie you don’t hit a girl etc.


23 posted on 12/03/2012 7:04:39 AM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: elcid1970

oooooooooooooooooh scawy. If they behaved and stayed zipped up, they wouldn’t have any problems, also if they would not get wasted, pick up their socks and underwear maybe they wouldn’t get “the look” and maybe they would get lucky more often which seems to be all they care about anyway. Oh and enough with the porn


24 posted on 12/03/2012 7:12:49 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: Hulka

Yeah, I’ll explain, just give me 100K or so of taxpayer money and I’ll research the issue for you, that’s what these “researchers” want.

If the emergency rooms saw enough of this stuff, you know it would be out there. But no, it’s women and children that show up beaten and bruised and cigarette burned.


25 posted on 12/03/2012 7:14:55 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: raybbr

Don’t argue. Easy. Don’t insist on your way or the highway, it’s that easy.


26 posted on 12/03/2012 7:16:07 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: equaviator

and how pray tell is he “paying the bills” when he is in jail?


27 posted on 12/03/2012 7:17:00 AM PST by yldstrk (My heroes have always been cowboys)
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To: yldstrk

How does he pay the bills while in jail, or after losing the job bacause he missed work before he could bond out? The court doesn’t worry about that, they just hold him responsible for coming up with the money.
If he doesn’t, thats contempt of court. And a warrant out for him.


28 posted on 12/03/2012 7:21:08 AM PST by DesertRhino (I was standing with a rifle, waiting for soviet paratroopers, but communists just ran for office.)
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To: tiki; yldstrk
I disagree. If a man has been raised to never hit a woman and a woman beats on him, most won’t hit back.

Indeed, I know at least two men who were in abusive marriages.

29 posted on 12/03/2012 7:23:56 AM PST by DTogo (High time to bring back the Sons of Liberty !!)
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To: yldstrk

Whatever...are you refuting my claim that some women are practiced at this kind of deception and that they often get away with it? The circumstances surrounding each case will likey vary but it’s pretty much the same set of tactics and stategy.


30 posted on 12/03/2012 7:25:42 AM PST by equaviator (There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
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To: DTogo

According to some, those guys should have picked up their socks, not been drunks, not cheated, looked at porn, etc. Otherwise, women would never go psycho. Everybody knows that!


31 posted on 12/03/2012 7:26:43 AM PST by DesertRhino (I was standing with a rifle, waiting for soviet paratroopers, but communists just ran for office.)
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To: yldstrk
how about because few are reported, maybe because few are happening

I don't know. I remember in MA, there was a big push for clemency for women that with forethought and calculation, murdered a spouse in cold blood and then claimed "fear for life", while not being in imminent danger.

The RINO governor(s) caved in many, if not all cases, seven or more, iirc.

32 posted on 12/03/2012 7:31:30 AM PST by Calvin Locke
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To: equaviator

“some women are practiced at this kind of deception”

It’s rampant. They discuss it with each other openly, and advise each other what to do and say. I’ve known a few very decent women who were shocked at the advice they were given by other women during some earlier divorce.


33 posted on 12/03/2012 7:33:30 AM PST by DesertRhino (I was standing with a rifle, waiting for soviet paratroopers, but communists just ran for office.)
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To: Oldexpat

“A member of our family had his life nearly ruined by a vengeful druggie wife who falsely accused him of violence. It took many months of legal fees to fight off the charges even though she was sent to jail twice for drugs and embezzlement.
Finally he got sole custody of the kids and then it took another year to get the restraining order on him removed.
Women/wives now have the power to ruin the life of any man..with no evidence with one phone call to 911 and one court appearance for a restraining order.
The man is assumed guilty..no evidence of violence needed..just her word.”

Just horrible. I lived with an alcoholic “borderline” girlfriend for about a year. One of the worst times in my life by far. Thousands of dollars later in legal fees, I finally got her out of my house and life.

Its been a long road back but I’m putting the pieces of my life back together. Emotional abuse is one of the worst forms of domestic violence out there.


34 posted on 12/03/2012 7:37:35 AM PST by headstamp 2 (What would Scooby do?)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I have a girl friend who was raised without much discipline and rules. Her mother was mean and walked all over the dad.

My friend got married to a really good guy but he was raised to be the “head of the home” (and yes, he loved his wife as Christ loved the church).

Shortly after they married, she got a speeding ticket (a BIG one) and he confronted her, not because of the ticket, but because she could have killed herself and/or others. This wasn’t her first ticket by a long shot.

After a loud discussion, he told her he was taking the keys to her car until she could learn to slow it down. They lived on a bus line and he told her to use that to get to work.

She hauled off and slugged him in the mouth and then tried to scratch his face.

Now, he was 6’4 and a big muscular guy, she was 5’2 and petite. He could have knocked her out with one hit.

Instead, he picked her up, put her over his knee, and busted her behind like she was a kid. I know, the feminazi’s would have had a fit.

He told her he wasn’t going to tolerate that kind of behavior, nor was he going to allow her to jeopardize their marriage, or put herself in danger.

This happened 24 years ago. Their 25th anniversary is in January.

That was her last speeding ticket, and her last attempt at physical violence, in all those years.

From what I understand, it WASN’T her last trip to her hubs woodshed.

I wouldn’t have believed this story if she hadn’t told me herself.


35 posted on 12/03/2012 7:44:47 AM PST by mom4melody
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To: tiki

“If a man has been raised to never hit a woman and a woman beats on him, most won’t hit back.”

How true. `Never hit the girl.’ Instead, do like Frank Drebin, parry and grab both her wrists when she tries to smack you.

(Then she’ll get you with that third hand)

;^)


36 posted on 12/03/2012 7:58:30 AM PST by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
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To: yldstrk

Know of this happening, man wouldn’t report it until his wife beat him within an inch of his life with a baseball bat. Even then he was forced to report it.


37 posted on 12/03/2012 8:00:08 AM PST by republicangel
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To: yldstrk

I saw a very good example back in 1982. I was a first sergeant at the time and one of my young soldiers had been arrested for domestic violence a couple times. Our CO wanted to court martial him and kick him out. The Army was making a big thing of violence against women at the time, it was right up there with drinking alcohol.
I knew the young man and couldn’t believe he’d ever hit his wife. I rode to his home one Saturday with a 6-pack to check things out. His wife was a cute little thing with very pale skin. When she saw I was there only to talk to her husband she got mad – she was being ignored. She went off and started yelling and throwing things. He said we should leave. She stood in front of the door and blocked our way. He held her arms and pulled her away from the door, we left and talked in the front yard. A couple minutes later cops shoed up, tased him and arrested him for domestic violence. His wife had bruises on her arms. I was threatened if I interfered.
I gave the CO a full report, he said he’d consider it. A week later at my morning formation another wife showed up, I told her to leave but she stormed into my formation and started beating on her husband. The CO believed me.


38 posted on 12/03/2012 8:27:38 AM PST by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink)
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To: raybbr

“What about psychological abuse? When, in every “argument” the wife threatens to call the police and take the children away”
That is by far more of the problem then physical abuse. Also, demeaning everything the husband does on a daily bases.


39 posted on 12/03/2012 8:34:23 AM PST by MCF
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To: mom4melody

Maybe I am reading your post wrong. However, you wrote, “that was her last speeding ticket, and her last attempt at physical violence. It WASN’T her last trip to her hubs woodshed”. Probably just me... it sounds like he hit his wife during their 25 years of marriage.. she just learned not to hit back? Just my two cents worth but I have raised my kids to not believe in spouses hitting each other. Either sex.. However, I have also told my girls that if a man hits you once during the dating/courtship/marriage... he’ll hit you all his life.


40 posted on 12/03/2012 8:36:45 AM PST by momtothree
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To: yldstrk
how about because few are reported, maybe because few are happening

The article clearly states that women commit half of domestic violence. FBI crime stats also support that.

Crawl back into your hole and never bother anybody again, numbnuts.

41 posted on 12/03/2012 8:45:05 AM PST by IDontLikeToPayTaxes
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To: momtothree

She had it coming...and she will tell you she did. And it was a spanking, not a beating.

She was immature and out of control. Her parents had allowed her to do whatever she wanted.

What was next? Drugs? Extra marital sex? A DUI?

Her mother smacked her father around and belittled him all the time. Her husband wasn’t going to live like that.

My kids all got spanked. And no, that is not abuse. Her husband’s philosophy was “you act like a child, you get treated like one.”

My grandfather spanked my grandmother, and my father-in-law adjusted my mother-in-laws attitude more than once.

I believe it was common practice pre-feminism.

Both of those marriages lasted over 50 years.

Do I agree with the practice?

I don’t know…I do know my friend’s marriage has lasted and they treat each other like newlyweds….to the point we tell them to stop and go get a room.

I do know her husband was right to put a stop to her reckless behavior that endangered both her safety and their marriage and family.


42 posted on 12/03/2012 8:51:52 AM PST by mom4melody
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I know this may seem like a pretty silly subject, and it's easy to make fun of a guy over this but...

I lived with a woman like this for 8 years... my ex-wife.
She would slap and punch when she got mad at me for just about anything... she wasn't a drug or alcohol users, she was just an immature person who refused to make any effort to control herself. Oddly enough, she never laid a finger on the kids or anyone else for that matter so I know it was more of a selective thing.

Having said all that, as a real man (something we all want to see ourselves as), it's a catch-22 situation. You can't hit back and at best, you can block the punches. If you hit back or grab, you go to jail for domestic violence... but if you do nothing, you're a damned sissy for getting beat up by a girl. you don't want to call the cops because the kids, no matter how you view it, need their mother at home. Even if you DO call the police, you take the risk of going to jail yourself at the hand of a lying woman.

I just want everyone to consider the tough situation this can be for a guy, I lived through it myself for quite a few years and even though you don't necessarily live in fear (I mean, a 110 pound woman v/s a 175 pound man isn't much of a contest), it's still a huge pain in the ass having to deal with it and the associated stigmas.

43 posted on 12/03/2012 8:54:29 AM PST by FunkyZero (... I've got a Grand Piano to prop up my mortal remains)
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To: DesertRhino

It is to be believed.

We’re not talking about the majority of women...just the ones who lie to their kids, lawyers, “Friends of the Court”, cops and judges and because a few had gotten away with it in the past, others are willing to try it. The culture is what it is and for some reason, their word is “golden” and so cops and other first responders tend to believe everything the female alleges...guess who automaqtically gets taken away to jail?


44 posted on 12/03/2012 8:55:36 AM PST by equaviator (There's nothing like the universe to bring you down to earth.)
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To: mom4melody

You and I will have to agree to disagree. Spanking a child is way different than hitting your spouse IMHO. Plus, it can really frighten and confuse children who witness this type of behavior. Love, honor and respect may mean different things to different folks. Have a good day!


45 posted on 12/03/2012 9:03:24 AM PST by momtothree
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To: republicangel

My wife beat me while I was driving and I went unconscious and woke up in the ditch. I was bloody and battered pretty bad. She had always threatened it, and she finally carried through when I had the nerve to suggest she didn’t have what it takes. I knew not to defend myself because it would only make it worse.

The state police were called by another motorist. I lied to protect her, but the police didn’t believe my story and she was proud of what she did, and bragged about it... so she went to jail.

She never forgave me for that and eventually kicked me out.

She got the kids, the house, everything. I make 57K a year, but I am forced to live on less than 10K.

By the way, the psychological abuse was worse than the physical abuse.

I really do not have any motivation to carry on at this point.


46 posted on 12/03/2012 9:22:30 AM PST by freedomfirst76
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To: Oldexpat

The man is assumed guilty..no evidence of violence needed..just her word.

Exactly.


47 posted on 12/03/2012 9:28:59 AM PST by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Oh look! A matching bookend to the crime that is child custody.


48 posted on 12/03/2012 11:07:26 AM PST by Cyber Liberty (Obama considers the Third World morally superior to the United States.)
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To: momtothree

I have to admit, I had 4 older brothers and they weren’t allowed to hit me so I got away with a lot of stuff.


49 posted on 12/03/2012 11:12:39 AM PST by tiki
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To: yldstrk

Well at least you’re objective and not painting all men with the same broad brush. Glad to know that you believe that men deserve physical violence from women under certain conditions. Does it work the other way around, too?

Go back to DU.


50 posted on 12/03/2012 11:21:39 AM PST by Secret Agent Man (I can neither confirm or deny that; even if I could, I couldn't - it's classified.)
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