When parents can pay for their child’s education, ideally, it’s a gift of love to ensure their child has the best start possible in adulthood, especially given college expenses are so staggeringly high. Unfortunately, some parents believe it’s some license instead to control and abuse their children well into adulthood. Having had similarly crazy parents, I guarantee these two would have continued making their daughter’s life a living Hades until they died or put her in an early grave. Such parents believe their child “owes” them for the rest of their lives - there is no love behind any generosity they extend. It’s all a dangling carrot or a leash.
Perfect summation. Perfect.
” there is no love behind any generosity they extend.”
My ex is like that with our sons. When confronted at various times with her abuses the standard defense is “after all I’ve done for you”.