Skip to comments.Ohio Student Wins Stalking Order Against Extreme Helicopter Parents
Posted on 12/28/2012 2:00:21 PM PST by SMGFan
A 21-year-old theatre student has obtained a civil stalking restraining order against her parents after convincing a judge that they attempt to control all aspects of her daily life.
Aubrey Ireland is a gifted theatre major at the College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati, often winning major roles in her school's musicals. Her latest win wasn't at her prestigious music conservatory, but in court after she filed a civil stalking order against her parents. Earlier this month, Common Pleas Court Judge Jody Luebbers ruled in her favor, ordering that her parents must stay at least 500 feet from their only child until September 2013.
"They basically thought that they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do who to hang out with ... basically control all of my daily life," Ireland told ABC News.
The dean's list student's complaints against her parents began when she realized they'd installed monitoring software on her computer and her phone. They paid unannounced visits, traveling 600 miles from their home in Kansas, to meet with Aubrey's department head.
(Excerpt) Read more at abcnews.go.com ...
Hmmmm, considering that only the Sociology and Ethnic Studies departments (if that college has low enough standards to have them) would require less intellect than “theater”, perhaps the parents have a right to wonder what sort of bull-Obama is being fed to their child.
It's called negotiating. The parents can now make a counter-offer.
This is long overdue to explode.
Big brother FORCES parents to submit their tax returns for a student to attend any school if that student wants any grants or scholarships at all.
The child at 18 has absolute medical privacy but the parents must leave them and pay for their health insurance policy too.
Kids have all the rights, and parents none, cept when it comes to funding, then the parents have NO rights.
No child at 18 is able to claim independence from the parental element without almost insurmountable hurdles big brother already has in place.
Actually after hearing her sing and perform on another website I would say the parents need a restraining order.
um... her parents just need to say ... ok, then. Pay for you own college.
Instead of negotiating the level of involvement you took them to court. I hope her parents give her the privacy she wants by cutting her off completely. I wonder if she would drag them back into court then too?
ummm they did and she is
They basically thought that they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do who to hang out with ... basically control all of my daily life
um... I see no where in that article where it states SHE is now paying for her college.
If she wants to be on her own... then let her go it alone.
On the other hand if she wants to have her cake and eat it too... then we’ve got a problem.
This young lady KNEW what kind of parents she had... after all, an only child and apparently spoiled rotten all her life.
However, after her 18th birthday, she has every right to tell them to take a flying freak at a rolling donut - and they have the right NOT to pay for her college expenses.
Come ON FReepers! Some of you want to say it’s OK for parents to install spy software on her computer and phone? OK for them to demand to see her in her dorm room via skype? Show up unannounced to talk to her teachers?
That’s just plain creepy!
If it were me, I’d have told them to fvck off, and I’d have had them arrested for the spyware.
She’s not paying. The school is so glad to have gotten rid of the parents that they are paying for her senior year. Now that she got the media attention a college theater Diva craves will she get on The View?
their money is ok though.... if she don’t want any contact, then give her what she wants - no contact, even the green kind.
We have four children..one who will be college age in 2 years. College costs are astronomical and we have worked hard for our savings. If one of our children decides to “shack up” in his/her dorm room or engage in illegal activities...their tuition ( ie our money) will be applied to better uses and they are free to look for a job where they can use their money to support their chosen life style.
we love all our children and will always be there for them but we will not finance choices that will have serious negative consequences for their lives. This young girl will learn soon enough that life on the government dime isn’t all she imagined it to be.
Does that mean that she has told her parents to stop paying for her continuing "education"?
At 18 I more or less told my mom that I was out of the house and living the life I wanted. I never presumed to make her pay for anything and that part of this case just seems crazy.
I showed this story to my two college aged girls. I suggested that some of these things looked like good ideas. Then they both reminded me they have gun permits.
These parents are just whacked. Too many parents out there are trying to relive ( or prevent their kids from re-living) their college days through their kids.
If half of this is true, these parents should be under professional care. Excep for the fact that one of my daughters prof is a former classmate, I could not name a single prof that either of them have. My child is in college. Not me.
Yep... Been there at 18yo as well. Try qualifying for financial aid when they tell you your parents made “too much” money, but then try to explain that your father is abusive, your sister is in foster care, and you have nothing to do with the abusive parents anymore — the Feds don’t care, if the numbers don’t meet their specifics you’re out of luck, completely... Absolutely ridiculous to me that I was living on my own, wanted to continue my education, but due to my age, and my father’s job couldn’t qualify for any tuition assistance whatsoever even though I was truly and completely on my own...
As for this girl taking her parents to court — if they are paying for EVERYTHING; tuition, room & board, etc... then I’d say they DO have a right to keep tabs on you. You are an investment of their hard-earned dollars at that point...
I suppose there are extenuating circumstances in regard to her needing to go to COURT, but the comment in the article makes it appear as if this young lady is just a spoiled, ungrateful brat. I felt sorry for a lot of my peers’ parents who spend thousands and thousands on college for some of my friends - only to see those same friends quit or flunk out due to partying, or just being irresponsible. I would have worked my tail off had I had the opportunity they had.
I’m sure I’m not the only one reading this that feels like this girl should be GRATEFUL that her parents care enough about her to not only pay for college and room & board, but that they would actually take an ACTIVE interest in their daughter’s education, and lifestyle at college. If she wanted true independence she should NOT be asking Mom & Dad for ANY money whatsoever.
Can’t imagine what her future is going to be like once her parents quit paying her tuition. (If I was them that’s exactly what I would do, personally... slap a restraining order on me and my checks won’t come within 500 ft. of you either...)
“I suppose there are extenuating circumstances in regard to her needing to go to COURT, but the comment in the article makes it appear as if this young lady is just a spoiled, ungrateful brat.”
Need to go to court ...
Betcha she got ‘free’ legal advice and free counsel to boot. Probably folks at the school egg’ing students on in this ‘you have rights’ regard. ‘Free’ really means other taxpayers foot the bill. It may even come out of the tuition being paid!
the article stated that her parents cancelled the tuition check they had written after she cut off contact. The school has given her a scholarship to finish her final year.
The fact that the mother is going to sue to get ‘their’ money back for the previous years education says something very specific abut the parents. I know of NO sane person who would spend their time tracking down a child who is over the age of majority to ‘check up’ on said young adult. If you don’t like their behavior then don’t send ANY money. Good Lord almighty since when do parents act like this. Their daughter is a straight A student. She is over 18. If you don’t like what she is doing then give the youngster nothing....end of story. These parents managed to be obnoxious enough in their behavior to become ridiculous. And for all of their concern and efforts they have successfully managed to totally cut themselves off from their daughter. Geee whiz, that worked really well didn’t it?
Same as with Lanza’s parents, hers were trying to get her mental help and she lashed out at them.
Or maybe Miss Drama Major pulled this as a publicity stunt to pad her slim portfolio. Nice professional photo headshot there in national headlines, huh. Would an engineering or geology major run to the msm their story like she has done?
Come on! She couldn’t have bought her own cell phone without gps instead of staying on daddy’s account? She couldn’t unplug the computer her parents gave her and bought her own “stalker software free” computer? She couldn’t pay for her own rent and food and tuition and textbooks and partying and clothes and countless other expenses since she’s been an adult for the past 4 years. Sure, like it’s ever so easy to make a 600 mile trip from the parents’ home to her college so often that it’s considered stalking. I hope the judge is paying her rent because first time it comes due she’ll be out on the street unless she is a promiscuous as her parents say.
Repost from the other thread...
Parents, and a bunch of posters on this thread are missing a couple important points.
A parent does not own an adult child, regardless of any work contract/agreements or whatnot. By all accounts she was/is a top student and headed in a good direction in her chosen career. Parents can make whatever demands they want outside that. All day long. But they have ZERO Right to dictate squat to an adult.
Now second, If a parent feels they have the right to treat a 21 yo like a 5 yo at her first slumber party, I believe that adult child id better off without having insane parents in their life. Perhaps forever if needed.
Because next it will be a nonstop pry into choosing a husband, dictating terms of their marriage, dictating terms of raising children, dictating what school THOSE CHILDREN go to.....
It will never end.
And all the people here siding with the parents should get to know an adult child who suffered through that absolute hell before opining the kid is the problem.
Perhaps in some cases they are. Perhaps this one is too. But I maintain that no parent owns the life or any aspect thereof, of an adult child, period.
And in cases where a split happens because a parent refuses to accept their boundaries as a parent and as another human being,, it is the fault of Mommie and Daddy Dearest regardless of how much they spend on college.
well, it looks like she did indeed get someone else (the college)to pay her way (of course the college also has rules that recipients of aid must meet *shocker*)
And I guess eventually she’ll latch onto some poor man to continue the process, and when he ... tries to limit he behavior in any way... then she’ll dump him take half and have a court order him to take care of her for the rest of her life doing as she pleases.
ah... what a wonderfull responsibility free world we live in!
You must have missed the point that the parents were trying to get mental help for their adult child.
“The fact that the mother is going to sue to get their money back for the previous years education says something very specific abut the parents”
Creepy. Your 21 year old kid decides you are getting nutty and cuts off contact. Ok, then it’s fair that the parents stop sending money.
(even if it’s weird that spyware, tracking devices on phones, micromanaging a normal kid’s social life at school, are all conditions for helping your kid thru school,,, but whatever)
Anyway, parents cutting off all sponsorship, i get. But by what principle do they demand the school refund the previous years tuition? They received what they paid for. There seems to be no fraud on the part of the school.
Strange that such a mental case hid it from everyone but the parents, got dood grades and had a pretty functional life. So who ‘claimed’ that she was Sec 8? That’s right, the domineering whack jobs trying to control her.
Reminds me of Russia’s solution for political dissidents. But go ahead and defend them based on a total lack of her mental dysfunction. As far as the reporting goes.
Just as an aside,,,it’s really -fun- to meet chicks who had parents like this, like about 10 years later. I’m just sayin’
She had a couple full ride offers to other schools the parents turned down to pay for her to attend this one.
Seems like a bad business model unless they had other plans in mind. Like financial coercion.
I was out of the house at 18 also. But being one of Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children (USMC) didn’t mean I could do what I wanted.
NO!!! You don’t understand! Half this and the other the thread thinks they had the right to do all that. There are no barriers on the parent if they paid for college. It was your obligation to bow and scrape.
And you blew it man. You blew it... /s
I have to wonder if there are more than a handful of actual people with sense left on this country. I expect it from libs, but I am starting to think they are right about most conservatives being crazy.
I hope you recovered from your experience and I’m sorry your wife could not find the strength to stand up to her parents.
Ummmmm. YOU seem to be missing a point.
For what reason couldn't this 21 yo have taken the computer and cell phone and driven (in a car the parents bought her?) the 600 miles to their house and said, "I don't need your spying stuff. (I don't need your car.) I don't need you to pay my college bills. I don't need your spending money. I'll get a job and do it myself," in her first semester instead of suing in the last year she was going to be there?
She didn't have to accept ANY of that stuff from them if it was such an onerous life that they required of her.
It's been done before by many teenagers since the stone age and it'll be done by many more far, far into the future.
Or did they FORCE her to accept all of these things?
Mr. Megan is former USMC. Semper fi!
No, I’m not. In the slightest.
If you genuinely think it’s OK for a parent to load their adult child’s phone with spyware, and the rest,I really don’t know what to tell you other than there are places that can help you with your control issues.
But you have to WANT to change.
If she was like my wife, she didn’t know any better. It’s like being in a cult. They get brainwashed and think their weirdness is the normal.
She'd just spent 18 years living with them. She knew all their quirks and boundaries. Nobody better.
What stopped her from giving all of their stuff back to them, telling them she didn't need their spyware computer, spyware cell phone on their plan, "living expenses" or their college tuition and gotten herself a job to pay it all herself, and in her FRESHMAN year instead of her SENIOR year?
As I said, teenagers have been doing it for millenia and WILL be doing it for millenia. There was nothing stopping her.
That's what work, work studies and student loans are for.
Kids pay their own way every single day in every single state.
Or are we to believe that it was ok for 3 years and suddenly became onerous in the last semester before she graduated?
“often winning major roles in her school’s musicals”
Well, good for her. Sounds like she’s all set. The parents should spend their money and time elsewhere. She’ll come around when life sinks in. No need to push her away.
My seventeen year old daughter is in a special program where she gets both high school and college credits by attending our local community college. She’s a high school junior. I wouldn’t DREAM of contacting her professors. These people are contacting the instructors of a senior in college? They’re nuts.
“The child at 18 has absolute medical privacy but the parents must leave them and pay for their health insurance policy too.”
I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Parents have the option to keep their adult children on their policies now, but who is forcing them to do that and pay for it?
They did, and she did (the school gave her a scholarship for her last year).
If I hadn't figured our daughter was mature enough to take care of herself I wouldn't have paid for her to go to college.
We're from a very rural area and she went to NYC for college.
She was homeschooled until jr. high.
She's always been very mature, even as a young kid.
You could parachute her in anywhere in the world and she'd just find it interesting and go about surviving.
We had telephone contact whenever she or we got to it, varying from weekly to monthly or so.
Helicopter parents have no idea how destructive they are.
Sorry to butt in. I believe obamacare REQUIRES parents to carry their children on the health insurance until age 26. That’s what I read at least. Not sure of all the particulars. OC depresses the heck outta me ;)
The restraining order is an unconstitutional, bs..law and it is a disgrace that it is on the books. In the old days , people had courage and guns to defend themselves and that often kept the crazies at bay. Now, you can go to a judge, provide nothing but here say, and get an order that will be served by the Sheriff that will be temp. until a hearing , but that will demand you turn in all of your firearms or sell them! Honest truth and happened to me by a looney “rev” Jesse Lee Peterson.
Agree but the pose makes me wonder if this whole thing isn’t a big setup and a way to get a portfolio and enough fame to jumpstart a career.
Could have been one of those "last straw" events after it had been building up over time.
Maybe she found out about one final thing they had done that drove her over the edge.
“Same as with Lanzas parents, hers were trying to get her mental help and she lashed out at them.”
Totally out of line comparison.
“She couldnt have bought her own cell phone without gps instead of staying on daddys account? She couldnt unplug the computer her parents gave her and bought her own stalker software free computer?”
You know that there are wiretapping laws, and that what the parents did is most likely illegal, right?
Paranoid crackpots. I see they are from Kansas...home of the Westboro Baptist Church...hmmm...coincidence?