Army Chaplain at an Obama-endorsed ceremony:
Dearly beloved:
You are gathered here, but I am forced against my will, to join these two faggots in a mockery of a Christian sacrament. What they allegedly do is a sin against God, which I do not endorse. However, they want to throw a party and my choice is to preside over this or face a court martial. So, I’ll make this short.
If anyone should object to this nonsense, besides myself, let it be known now.
Whichever one of you is the groom today, do whatever you do to whoever is playing the role of bride today.
May God have mercy on your souls.
Amen
Great rewrite, LOL
The Red Army replaced chaplains with political officers. That’s most likely the Kenyan’s next move.