I am a strict Old Testament Believer. The New Testament does not hold the same meaning for me as it does Christian Believers. Only I am responsible for my sins and no man or blood sacrifice can lift or absolve that sin from me.
My deeply held religious belief is that premeditated or coldblooded murder can never be forgiven in all of eternity. Your soul is already forfeit. That’s it. A murderer’s death is eternal death. That is the justification for the death penalty.
Suicide is premeditated murder as well. So if you murder yourself, there is no forgiveness. That is a paradox in Christianity to me.
When you say that you are responsible for your own sins, do you mean all of them? Or is murder the only one that falls under that penalty of ‘never being forgiven in all of eternity and thus your soul is forfeited’? What Old Testament scripture are you pointing to support that? And if you are responsible for your own sins, what does that mean after you die? Are you trying to live a perfectly sinless life that you can get to heaven on your own? If so, I got news for you…. No one can live a sinless life. What about Moses….he was a murderer, no? Exodus2: 11 And it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown, that he went out unto his brethren, and looked on their burdens: and he spied an Egyptian smiting an Hebrew, one of his brethren. …. And yet God called Moses a ‘treasure’……Exodus 19:5 Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine: 6 And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests, and an holy nation. These are the words which thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel.
Fortunately for Moses, his sin was forgiven… and yours can be forgiven too because otherwise, there is no hope.