Tim Murray’s done one wreck of a job
by Howie Carr
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Tim’s done one wreck of a job
How dare Lt. Gov. Crash Murray quit before we the voters have had the distinct pleasure of voting him out of office next year when he runs for — please stifle your laughter — governor.
Tim Murray managed to work in every cliche Friday as he announced his plan to go permanently on the lam. But tubby Tim vowed to keep his chins up. As he told his local newspaper, “It’s not the end of the book.”
Surely he meant to say, “comic book.”
Comrade Deval Patrick even took time out from his arduous duties of collectivizing the Massachusetts economy to describe his little buddy as a “magnificent lieutenant governor,” which is like being a magnificent traffic cone.
Said the governor, who is in the midst of his own makeover, into the Hugo Chavez of New England: “I’ve seen him in action.”
Surely Deval meant to say, “inaction.”
It seems like just yesterday when Tiny Tim’s career was beginning with such a flourish. It was January 2007, and he was being sworn in by the soon-to-be-indicted House Speaker Sal DiMasi. Mistah Speakah was holding a book he was somewhat less than familiar with, a Bible.
“Raise your right hand,” the future jailbird said.
Up went Murray’s left hand.
This is not to say the man is stupid. It only took him three tries to pass the bar exam. In retrospect, his career trajectory resembled that of the other Tim — Tim Cahill. Both of them have the soul — and brains — of a city councilor, Cahill in Quincy, Murray in Worcester.
“I loved being city councilor,” Tim Murray admitted Friday. And why not — City Hall gave him a place to come in out of the rain.
Most likely we’ll see Murray again when the grand jury investigating disgraced Chelsea Housing Authority boss Mike McLaughlin wraps up its deliberations. The very ethical McLaughlin allegedly was raising dough for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, when he wasn’t paying himself $360,000, about $200,000 a year more than he was statutorily entitled to.
A couple of days after the McLaughlin story broke in October 2011, Murray wrecked his state Crown Vic around 5:20 a.m. on I-190. He was in his pajamas and bedroom slippers at the time. He said he was going 65 mph. The state police said it was more like 108 mph, and they’re his friends.
Some cheeky reporter had the nerve to ask Crash Friday if he’d discussed his, ahem, career change with the U.S. attorney.
Tiny Tim repeated his tall tale about quitting for family reasons — “that’s what this decision is based of.”
Is based of? Crash always folds under pressure.
As Murray tried to maintain a shred of dignity in his humiliating departure Friday, everybody on the Internet was making sport of him. He found out there was a height requirement for the governor’s job. His campaign had hit a wall. It was a train wreck, er car wreck. Now he’ll never be in the driver’s seat at the State House. Will he continue “stonewalling” on the release of his cell phone records?
Actually, though, Murray goes out in the finest tradition of failed lieutenant governors. He raised money like crazy up to the last minute — taking in just under $137,000 in the last two weeks of 2012, leaving him with a balance of $359,493.62. And yes, he can take it with him, as long as he plans to run for political office again someday, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
He learned well from Jane Swift.
Look on the bright side, Tim. You’re not in the Legislature — that means you won’t have to wait a year to start lobbying against your boss’ ruinous tax increases.
As for the rest of us, we now have to start looking for a new candidate for 2014. I only see one man who can fill the tiny Buster Brown shoes of Tim Murray.
Come on down, Willie Lantigua!
Wed column ping slightly late
Murphy’s Law, it’s not
by Howie Carr
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
No good deed goes unpunished.
Remember that old saying, Barney Frank. Because what just happened to Boston City Council President Steve Murphy yesterday is going to happen to you soon.
Like Murphy, you’re about to be passed over for a job you really want. The only difference between you and Murphy is Murphy actually should have gotten the sheriff’s job he coveted, because he once did a favor for the appointing authority.
I’m drawing a blank on anything you ever did for anybody else, Barney. If they ever name a street after you, it’ll have to be a one-way.
Anyway, Steve Murphy wanted to be High Sheriff of Suffolk County, succeeding Andrea Cabral, the new public safety secretary. Gov. Deval Patrick makes the pick. Deval picked Cabral’s flack, Steve Tompkins. Never mind that back in 2006, Murphy was Deval’s go-to guy in the 87 precincts of white Old Boston.
Everybody else was with Tom Reilly or, if they were for sale, with Chris Gabrieli.
There was one other white Irish pol from Boston with Deval — then-Sen. Maid Marian Walsh.
Murphy lent Deval bodies, Walsh lent him her “name,” such as it was. So after Deval won, when Marian’s hack husband had to retire from the bench at age 70, Deval put him on the Industrial Accidents Board for $113,000 a year. Deval also tried to hand Sen. Walsh that phoney-baloney $175,000 hack job that blew up in both their faces. But the point is, Deval didn’t give her one hack job, he tried to give her two.
And Murphy got the doughnut.
Granted, Murphy had a lot going against his stealth campaign for sheriff.
No. 1, his heavy lifting for Deval was way back in 2006. Deval’s motto: “What have you done for me lately?”
No. 2, Murphy is white, Irish, Catholic and a Boston native.
No. 3, Andrea Cabral hates Murphy. He ran against her once.
No. 4, Mumbles Menino hates ex-city councilor Michael “Flats” Flaherty.
“What?” you ask. What does No. 4 have to do with Nos. 1-3? Well, if Murphy had been appointed sheriff, then Flats, who ran against Mumbles in 2009, would be back on the City Council.
But wait, does Mumbles really think Flats could run again for mayor this year? Or even more absurdly, does Mumbles believe he’ll be seeking, what, his seventh term in 2017?
That’s Mumbles for you. He’s Italian, but he has Irish Alzheimer’s. He’s forgotten everything but the grudges.
Just remember Barney, when you get passed over for the Senate, don’t accuse anybody of homophobia or bigotry of any kind. This happens every day. This is Boston.