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Imaginary People Are More Real Than You Know
Townhall.com ^ | January 20, 2013 | Derek Hunter

Posted on 01/20/2013 3:37:25 AM PST by Kaslin

Who hasn’t laughed at the revelation that Notre Dame football star Manti Te’o had a “fake” girlfriend? I meant to spend five minutes on the subject on my radio show and ended up doing an hour and then making fun of it randomly throughout all three hours. As funny as it is, and it is pretty funny, it’s also not foreign to me.

A friend of mine (who I won’t name) has fallen for this several times. The hoaxes perpetrated against him eventually evolved to the point of fake woman needing money to get out of some horrible situation that this guy was the only one who “understood.” My friend denies ever sending money, but I suspect otherwise.

He was always secretive about the women he was “talking to” online, but he did show me a bunch of pictures on his phone once in an attempt to “prove” she was real. They were real pictures of a real woman – several pictures – but they were obviously of an unknown model from a catalog. But all the logic in the world wasn’t going to convince this guy of anything he didn’t want to believe. And he wanted to believe.

He’s finally moved into the real world (for him anyway), and is now talking with real women.

But this episode also reminded me of something from my own past, something I hadn’t thought about in nearly 10 years. No, I wasn’t taken by some fraudster online – I was the fraudster.

Fraud isn’t the right word because it conveys a criminal intent, which this wasn’t. Mine was more simply being an immature jerk – bored and wanting to see if something I thought was right.

It was somewhere around 2003 or 2004 – the heyday of MySpace and Live Journal (if those two sites had a kid it would be Facebook) – and I had a girlfriend who was into both. She told me about random people, mostly guys, who were hitting on her in messages and comments through these sites. But they weren’t just hitting on her. They were talking to her with a familiarity that most people wouldn’t even talk to their friends, and certainly not to a woman in a bar for fear of having a drink thrown in their face.

The girlfriend went away, but the curiosity over what would possess someone to contact a stranger online in a way they never would in real life didn’t. This was the time of dial-up Internet and the infancy of text messaging. Most human interaction was face to face or over the phone. Impersonal, anonymous cyber-lives hadn’t yet become common.

I wondered how much someone would tell a complete stranger (one that didn’t exist) simply because they believed the Internet was real.

I found a LiveJournal of an attractive girl who posted a lot of pictures of herself, downloaded them and then, with a couple of friends, created a MySpace account. Created a name, biography, placed her in a city far away from where the real girl lived, made up likes, dislikes and interests provocative enough that they’d be what we thought of as “jackass bait.”

The friend requests rolled in, men and women. I never had a MySpace account so I had no idea “friend count” was an important thing, I naïvely thought people were friends with their, you know, friends. Nope.

Within a few days this fake person had more than 100 friends and people were posting messages on her page like, “Hey girl, thanks for being my friend.” It was easier and weirder than I thought it would be.

Then the messages started.

We made the profile bisexual to see if there was a difference between how men and women talked to someone they didn’t know. There was.

Women were very much like someone striking up a conversation with a stranger on a train. Men were like drunken frat guys walking the red light district in Amsterdam.

I’ve always been pretty quick on my feet and able to rip someone apart verbally to shut them up. That happened in these messages too.

As the unbelievably forward (to put it mildly) messages came in, my buddies and I would rip them apart, and they’d either apologize and go away or just go away. I had thoughts (and still do) of writing a book about it called “I Was An Internet Girl” because all the stories taken as a whole are hilarious, including how we actually used it quite creatively to meet women too (women trust other women, even when one isn’t real, too. And get your mind out of the gutter; it wasn’t exactly what you’re thinking).

About a month or so in we lost interest. I’d check it only occasionally, and my friends never would. What I’d thought was pretty much proven through the aggressive messages it had gotten.

But not all messages were aggressive. One time when I was checking it there was one guy who’d sent a message dripping with desperation for someone to talk to.

After a few messages it was clear he was gay, but he continually denied it. He would tell this fake person in writing things he wouldn’t confess to anyone. I wasn’t a jerk to him (I’m sure I made a few people reassess their lives with some of the mean, but funny, things I said to them in responses). I tried to help this guy become comfortable with who he was. And ultimately, he did.

It was an eye-opening experience to realize how one human being would open up to and trust another they’d never met, never spoken to on the phone and never would. How they’d do that rather than talk to someone they knew, no matter how close to them they were, either as a trail run or simply to relieve themselves of the burden of never telling anyone.

So while I, too, have difficulty believing Te’o’s story, part of me knows how it could be true. Time will tell whether it is, but to simply dismiss the possibility based on how outlandish it is would be folly. I know first-hand how trusting someone can be of a person who doesn’t exist simply because they desperately want to believe they can.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: internet; notredame

1 posted on 01/20/2013 3:37:36 AM PST by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

Te’o’s just lucky his girlfriend wasn’t a vice squad cop.


2 posted on 01/20/2013 4:20:27 AM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets (Please, don't tell Obama what comes after a trillion.)
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To: Kaslin

Way too much coverage of this Manti Te’o fake girfriend whatever. Like media people and sportswriters never had an imaginary significant other? I mean, most of them are whack jobs anyway...


3 posted on 01/20/2013 4:22:59 AM PST by SeminoleCounty (The only automatic weapon is the one Obama uses to take your paycheck)
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To: Kaslin

When will the media take as much interest to learn more about our imposter President?


4 posted on 01/20/2013 4:32:06 AM PST by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Kaslin

“The hoaxes perpetrated against him eventually evolved to the point of fake woman needing money to get out of some horrible situation that this guy was the only one who “understood.” My friend denies ever sending money, but I suspect otherwise.”

This happened to a female friend of mine.


5 posted on 01/20/2013 5:09:49 AM PST by stilloftyhenight
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To: stilloftyhenight

> “The hoaxes perpetrated against him eventually evolved to the point of fake woman needing money to get out of some horrible situation that this guy was the only one who “understood.” My friend denies ever sending money, but I suspect otherwise.”

Sadly enough one of my own friends fell for this once until I proved to him these were scams pulled by convicts serving time within the federal penitentiary! He also believed he would get $400K transferred into his bank account from someone overseas if he just gave them his banks routing number and account number....sheesh. Yes he was a liberal. Haven’t talked to him in years (since O ascended the throne)


6 posted on 01/20/2013 5:16:17 AM PST by jsanders2001
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To: Incorrigible
Excellent point!
7 posted on 01/20/2013 5:19:32 AM PST by Kaslin (He needed the ignorant to reelect him, and he got them. Now we all have to pay the consequenses)
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To: Kaslin
I'm surprised that so many sports journalists are going after T'eo for citing his "girlfriend" as a source of his inspiration even after he learned that she was a fake. Just because she turned out to be a fake does not mean that the pain he felt, when he learned of her "death", was any less intense or meaningful to him. At the time, he thought she was real, and clearly had strong feelings for her. Then he was told of her death (within hours of his grandmother's actual death). He had no way of knowing that one of those deaths wasn't real, and he used those deaths as his motivation to play even harder. Just because the hoax was later found to be a fake doesn't change the fact that her "death" was part of what pushed him to excel this season. His feelings were real then, and throughout the season. Once he learned that he "got played", I'm sure that his feelings were changed and even stronger, not diminished. To me, his most telling remark is that when the perpetrators called him to tell him that she was actually not dead, he replied "My girlfriend died that day in September", and he was done talking to them. Again, his pain was real, and he used that pain in a constructive way for all of 2012. That's something that we generally congratulate.

(BTW: I'm an avid Notre Dame football detractor, by the way... but this kid deserves a break, in my opinion. Further, if he is handling it correctly, this has been exceptional training for him to play on a large-market team with rabid sport reporting, like the Jets or Eagles.)

8 posted on 01/20/2013 5:29:07 AM PST by Teacher317 ('Tis time to fear when tyrants seem to kiss.)
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To: SeminoleCounty
Way too much coverage of this Manti Te’o fake girfriend whatever.

When you see a silly-assed story being over-exposed y the MSM just look to see what came out recently they don't want you to see.

In this case I think it was the admission that no "assault rifle" was used at Sandy Hook.

9 posted on 01/20/2013 6:13:31 AM PST by TangoLimaSierra (To the left the truth looks like Right-Wing extremism.)
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To: TangoLimaSierra

“In this case I think it was the admission that no “assault rifle” was used at Sandy Hook.”
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Did I miss something? I thought they were still claiming they were all shot with a Bushmaster .223.


10 posted on 01/20/2013 6:36:24 AM PST by RipSawyer (I was born on Earth, what planet is this?)
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To: SeminoleCounty

Oh, but this is a grand story because it demonstrates how awful sports announcing and reporting has become. They think they have to “soften” sports to make it more appealing (I suppose to women), so they constantly harp on these stupid human interest stories they attach to athletes.

They have about ruined the Olympics with all their scmaltz. And don’t get me started on the ridiculous spectacle of jocks wearing pink in October. Gag.

The Onion did a great satire on this wallowing in the maudlin. It was about an athlete who would not make the Olympic team until he (or she, I can’t remember) could come up with a compelling personal story.


11 posted on 01/20/2013 6:45:18 AM PST by Pining_4_TX (All those who were appointed to eternal life believed. Acts 13:48)
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To: Teacher317

Please! He’s a complete phony, and the sports writers and announcers are fools. Manti made this up, because he knew that sports isn’t about competition any more; it’s about who has the best sob story. He thought it would help him with the Heisman.


12 posted on 01/20/2013 6:47:50 AM PST by Pining_4_TX (All those who were appointed to eternal life believed. Acts 13:48)
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To: Kaslin

While the story itself here is interesting about people you only meet on the internet, it really has nothing to do with Te’o and his boyfriend, youth choir director Ronaiah(Lennay) Tuiasoscopo.

Te’o and “Lennay” had not only had met face to face, they went out together on dates, according to Te’o’s family. Heck, Ronaiah was even in “Lennay’s” car accident. The imaginary “girlfriend” was just a cover story to hide the fact that these two guys were dating. With increasing media attention, they had to do away with the “Lennay” identity. Simple.


13 posted on 01/20/2013 7:06:09 AM PST by Southern Magnolia
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To: Kaslin
As long as the msm can stretch out headlines on fake people, the less time they have to devote to real live earth shattering headines like gun grabbing, the sad state of the economy and how D.C. is causing it, and the welcoming in of the new Amerika.

As for all this FB hoo haw, that’s it... hoo haw. No one needs to know my emotional state this morning or if I’m having coffee, tea or oj. I certainly don’t give a rat’s behind that they liked a pair of yellow polka dot shoes online or that their parakeet chirped when he got fed. And I certainly do not care to pour out my deepest most personal thoughts to some online stranger, real or fake, for the entire world to criticize. Oh, ok, since y’all are all on the edge of your seats I’ll give you one - hussein is a buffoon.

14 posted on 01/20/2013 7:54:09 AM PST by bgill (We've passed the point of no return. Welcome to Al Amerika.)
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To: RipSawyer

Sorry. I went back to the article. Ran in Dec. My bad. But the MSM premise holds true.


15 posted on 01/20/2013 9:10:26 AM PST by TangoLimaSierra (To the left the truth looks like Right-Wing extremism.)
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To: Kaslin

I don’t know who this freak is but he should be locked up!!


16 posted on 01/20/2013 9:15:34 AM PST by dalereed
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To: Pining_4_TX

Bingo...why is this so hard for people to see? The kid thought that a sad back story would manipulate the Heisman vote...instead he got exposed and deserves the same scorn that Armstrong does...he is a loser who tried to cheat the system in order to win.


17 posted on 01/20/2013 2:16:50 PM PST by willyd (Don't shoot, we're Republicans!)
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To: Kaslin
Imaginary People Are More Real Than You Know

Yes. There is one in the Oval Office.

18 posted on 01/20/2013 8:23:57 PM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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