It’s a tough issue. I have one daughter that has a brain injury. She is very smart, but she is uncoordinated and has speech problems.
She is not good enough to be in any after school activity.
It’s very frustrating!!!
Then my other daughter was just diagnosed with a focal dystonia, a movement disorder, and she is now considered disabled. It causes cramping and uncontrollable movements in her left hand (she’s a lefty) when she writes, plays the flute (she was a very, very, very good musician),, types, or other repetitive hand movements.
It just started a year ago. She was supposed to march in the Rose Bowl Parade with her band, but she couldn’t play her flute. It seems like they could have figured out something for her to do.
My daughter with dystonia is switching to theater and singing, so she at least is finding something to do.
My other daughter has no after school activities, and she is lonely.
I don’t know what the solution is, but it’s hard having a kid that doesn’t have many friends.
At my sons’ private boy school there was a wonderful young man who suffered a serious disability. Could not play sports: so he was team manager, and very much a part.
Look for alternatives. It is part of the pain, but the reward is so much deeper than what the typical kids’ accomplishments bring.
My son played football with a kid who had a mild form of Downs Syndrome. This kid played organized football from Pop Warner to High School JV. When he became a senior he was not allowed to play Varsity football by the school district. They cited injury concerns. It was bullshit. This kid was a good player. He started at FB and DE his junior year on JV. He was 3rd on team in tackles and had 4 QB sacks. The varsity coach was going to start him at DE. There are some kids like David Martinez that get screwed by not being allowed to play. I coached David for 4 years in Pop Warner, he was a coaches dream. David put out 100% everytime he stepped on the field. He never complained, he was a great team mate. Everyone who ever played with him or coached him loved the kid. The question is how do we fix it without going overboard like Obama has.
I can imagine the emotional strain on you or any other parent when they see their children excluded from certain activities due to physical or mental impairment.
There is not a single one of us that is not proficient at something that others seem to handle with ease.
The overriding question to me is, is it the community's responsibility to accommodate the deficiencies of every member and to fulfill their every wish?
Did she not go? There's no reason she couldn't have just held her flute or maybe give her a clarinet to hold with her right hand for looks if she couldn't hold up her flute. Maybe a drum and use her right hand. There's no reason she had to play. Why couldn't she be one of the banner carriers? Simple enough to come up with something for her to participate. It's a guarantee that a dozen able bodied kids didn't play a note the whole route.
There are many kids who aren't in after school activities and who aren't disabled. There are many kids who are lonely and who aren't disabled.
I am sorry you and your daughters have such a tough time of it, lsm.
Heck, a lot of the band isn’t playing when marching. No one notices.