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Homeland Security has advice for confronting mass murders: scissors (Idiots)
NY Post ^
| : 5:44 AM, January 31, 2013
| S.A. Miller
Posted on 01/31/2013 4:42:41 AM PST by onyx
Edited on 01/31/2013 5:53:10 AM PST by Admin Moderator.
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To: sickoflibs
The Army has two doctrines regarding ambush ~ if you're too close to the enemy to take effective cover, then attack. If, on the other hand, you are too far away from the enemy to properly engage, withdraw AND take cover ~ or both ~ whichever is convenient.
Remember, that's an ambush.
HS is not properly portraying the doctrines and will leave people confused. And I'm not sure it's applicable at all in a multi-story building. First, you need two entrances. Secondly, know where the stairwells are. The killer comes in the front, go out the back to the nearest stairwell. Then escape. If the killer comes in the back, go out the front to the nearest stairwell. Then escape. DO NOT WAIT ON THE ELEVATOR.
If you have on high heels, get rid of them now.
Never rent office space with less than two functioning entrances.
Guns as required.
41
posted on
01/31/2013 5:18:32 AM PST
by
muawiyah
To: onyx
Yeah, but what if he brings a rock? Better bring some paper just to be sure. (Life asymptotes to Monty Python.)
To: onyx
Will ‘high-capacity’ desk drawers capable of holding more than 7 pairs of scissors be banned?
Time to arm ourselves with assault hedge-clippers!!
To: onyx
Nobody NEEDS a pair of pointy sharp scissors.
I'm OK with legitimate scissors for the crafting sports, but there is no room for high capacity 12” shears in the workplace.
And we need to close the garage sale loophole, where just anyone off the street can grab a Fiskars 12-9653 6984 Titanium Nitride 12” Shop Shears. You don't need Titanium Nitride shears to open a packet of cocoa.
This isn't about controlling scissors, its about safety. Countless children find scissors just setting in a drawer or laying out in the open, and then they hold the upright and run with them.
44
posted on
01/31/2013 5:24:22 AM PST
by
SampleMan
(Feral Humans are the refuse of socialism.)
To: Lazamataz
Rotflol!
Thanks, Laz.
One for the archives.
45
posted on
01/31/2013 5:26:12 AM PST
by
xzins
(Retired Army Chaplain and Proud of It! True supporters of our troops pray for their victory!)
To: panaxanax
LOL. Yes, and those electric ones would be great!
46
posted on
01/31/2013 5:27:40 AM PST
by
onyx
(FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
To: sickoflibs
Thanks very much! I was pinged to that, but haven’t gotten there yet.
47
posted on
01/31/2013 5:29:09 AM PST
by
onyx
(FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
To: onyx
I almost forgot to mention cowbells can stop bullets in a ninja sort of way.
To: SampleMan; DJ MacWoW
ROTFLOLOL.
DJ, come see SampleMan’s comments!
49
posted on
01/31/2013 5:30:45 AM PST
by
onyx
(FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
To: Clyde5445
50
posted on
01/31/2013 5:31:48 AM PST
by
onyx
(FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
To: SampleMan
You left out the $200.00 tax stamp for full-auto electric shears.
51
posted on
01/31/2013 5:31:48 AM PST
by
NY.SS-Bar9
(The AR-15 is the Honda Civic of rifles)
To: SampleMan; onyx
Dang right! And think of the carnage if left in a chair! Why Alice Johnson sat on a pair in the 30’s and never forgot it!
52
posted on
01/31/2013 5:35:42 AM PST
by
DJ MacWoW
(My faith and politics cannot be separated)
To: FReepers; Patriots; FRiends
53
posted on
01/31/2013 5:36:12 AM PST
by
onyx
(FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
To: onyx
Rock
Paper
Scissors
Gun
Gun!!!!!! That sort of changes things.
54
posted on
01/31/2013 5:37:18 AM PST
by
TomGuy
To: onyx
Yes thats so at least that what the farmer down the street told me. He is an expert in cowbells and what they can be used for.
To: onyx
56
posted on
01/31/2013 5:41:23 AM PST
by
FreedomPoster
(Islam delenda est)
To: Clyde5445; onyx
It takes many years of practice grasshopper. Not just anyone can say “More cowbell!”.
57
posted on
01/31/2013 5:42:56 AM PST
by
DJ MacWoW
(My faith and politics cannot be separated)
To: Lakeshark; Darksheare; null and void
Just wow..... I’d rather use my fangs.
To: onyx
The chemical plant where I work has a safety motto that says "The relentless pursuit of an accident free work place". So with that noble goal in mind, one of the many outstanding ideas was to disallow the use of any pair of scissors that did not have the points rounded off elementary school style.
That means that I will have to stab the crazed gunman with much greater force possibly incuring an injury to my sholder...
59
posted on
01/31/2013 5:48:53 AM PST
by
tbpiper
To: DJ MacWoW; onyx
Hey I ain’t no grasshopper. Those are fightin words, 50 pace with scissors just don’t trip you might impale yourself.
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