Really ?
You seem to be where I was a number of years ago.
Trying desperately to convince myself that I was free to do what I pleased.
I suggest you look at the math or probabilities necessary for random mutations, conserved and selected in any given environment that would result in an increase of information. Evolution is all about death.
The reality of self-assembly is that in some manner the information necessary to provide for the details is implicit in the being of matter itself ~ or, accessible by matter from different dimensional levels (the half dozen 'rolled up' dimensions perhaps, and who knows what's going on over there eh).
The MIND OF GOD would be expressed in this universe in such a manner. it's not a clock.
Let's get back to the mustard seed ~ Jesus told us to consider it, so that's what I'm doing ~ and it's set up so it actually senses conditions external to the cell nucleus, and then turns on the genes needed to help it survive whatever those conditions are. We don't know the precise sensory mechanism outside of temperature and humidity, but the results are always spectacular.
At the moment I'm wondering why the Skolt Sa'ami have an incidence of 18% worth of dental displasia involving three or more teeth! That's a multi gene condition controlling that one ~ and all it does is give them a better grip on frozen reindeer meat. Seriously ~ you can cut off raw fresh steak easier as well ~ and as a bothersome as it is to get your teeth missing or twisted like that, it had to be thought up by a very desperate information processing system.
BTW, God created information ~ hope you caught that ~ it's all His stuff ~ we just borrow it.