St Louis?
Let me share a little story. . .
Back in the 90’s I was on a cross-country flight in my F-15E. Got gas at the Guard base on STL airport. Filled up and then took off. . . .and the gear would not go up.
This is a lot better than the gear not coming down. . .but I digress.
Anyway, we flew around STL, looking at the sites and dumping gas. Finally dumped enough gas to land and went back to the Guard unit on the airport. They fly F-15C models and I was in an F-15E model, so, I thought they might be able to help fix my jet.
Not so. Apparently, because of the extra weight the F-15E carries, the gear was not the same as the C-model. Had to taxi across the field to MD. . .they built the jet! Lucky me!!
After a night in STL the jet was fixed and my back-seater went into the FBO to file a flight plan and I did the walk-around. It was during the walk-around a private MGM Grand jet landed and parked next to me. . .and with three black limos pulling up. . must have been “somebody.”
It was Garth Brooks. He saw my jet and asked one of his people to come over and ask if he could sit in my jet. Of course, I agreed and as Garth walked over to my jet, I reached into the travel-pod (looks like a little “bomb” strapped on a wing. . .to get the canopy-bracer tool, a tool we use to brace the open canopy so it doesn’t accidentally fall on some idiot that hits the wrong switch.
I got the bracer tool out of the travel pod and was putting it into place when another one of Garth’s men ran up, whined about lack of time and Garth apologized and went to the limos.
I took the bracer tool and put it back in the travel pod and thumbed-nailed a couple of zuess-fasteners to keep the door of the travel pod closed. . .temporarily.
I climbed in my jet, strapped in and the back-seater came up and when he disappeared under the wing, I’m thinking he is securing the travel-pod door (he had the special tool, after all).
Anyway, he climbs in, we start, get permission to do an unrestricted after-burner climb to altitude and soon were on the runway, lifting off, getting to warp speed by the end of the runway and I yanked back on the stick and shot vertical to 25,000 in seconds! Yee-haw. . nice airshow for the bored airline passengers watching from the airline terminals across the field.
A few minutes after reaching 25,000 feet, we get a call from Center:
Center: “Eagle 11”
Eagle 11: “Go ahead.”
Center: “Eagle 11, St Louis tower called. They want to know what sort of bleach to use on your underwear.”
Eagle 11: “Awww. . .sh*t”
Center: “Exactly”
It appears my back-seater and I did not fully secure the travel-pod and when I yanked back on the stick at the end of the runway, the pod door popped open and flung all our clothes (shoes, shirts, socks. . .and yes, underwear) all over the runway.
By the time we got back to our base news had traveled and the squadron commander was not amused. . .he was a real dick anyway.
“...zuess-fasteners...”
I still have my zuess key. I started out my AF career as a firefighter and got it when I was just a very young Airman at Myrtle Beach. The Wing at MBAFB was transitioning from F-100’s into A-7’s. Heavy flying schedule and used my zuess key many times. Once had 7 barrier engagements in one shift. Later crossed trained and became an Air Traffic Controller, but I digress!
Hah! A fine story, sir... :-)
That’s a great story, thanks!
You should send that into Reader’s Digest for the Humor in Uniform section. Thanks for the chuckle.