I have two girls. The oldest is going to college, but will be commuting. She should graduate without owing any money. All she needs is a piece of paper to be a teacher, and that's what I told her. So we're getting the cheapest one.
I've told them both that I have no problem with them living at home before they get married, as long as they work, pay rent, and put some money away.
That would be a lot harder to do with nine. I don't have any advice for you. Maybe by the time they get to their early 20s, they'll be ready to go.
Anoreth joined the Coast Guard at 18. She wanted Something Totally Different, and got it! Now she’s planning to re-up, having nothing else major that she wants to do with the next 4 hours.
On the other hand, Bill is sitting home, at 19, listening to me bitch, complaining about sharing a room with room, and his big idea is going to the local state university branch next year, after another year at community college. Not that that’s bad, compared to huge student loans and no (or a useless) degree, but he has a lot of ability: academic, musical, and artistic.