Hopefully this will add some levity to a despicable situation, so here goes:
What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
—There are skid marks in front of the dog.
What is the difference between a porcupine and an ambulance chasing BMW carrying three lawyers?
— A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What is the difference between lawyers and vampire bats?
— One is a bloodsucking parasite and the other is a mouse-like creature with wings!
What is the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
— A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
What separates witnesses from the lowest form of life on earth?
— The partitions around the witness stand.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
— One is a low life bottom feeding scum sucker; the other is a fish.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
— Prostitutes stop screwing you after you die.
What does “NFL football player, NBA basketball player, politician, lawyer” represent?
— pro’s and con's
What is the difference between a lawyer and God?
— God doesn't think he's a lawyer!
How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
—Never enough.
My personal favourite, having grown up in Ontario:
What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of Lake Ontario?
— A good, though small start!