You will never win your arguments here.
They will make points of circular logic, and point out that the war was about States rights—of course don’t ask them which rights the south was looking to maintain. Here’s a clue—it was slavery.
Many of the folks from the south have a distorted view of the confederacy. They started the war, they lost the war, and they had to give up their slaves.
I can understand generations of hatred because of being invaded and defeated.
I cannot understand why they cannot agree that the institution of slavery—in any form—at any time is immoral, and fundamentally wrong. Whether north, south, black, white, Arab or otherwise.
Individual liberty is a right—a natural right—and there is no justification for it. It was always wrong. And it always will be wrong.
The greatest evils of history are always built on the greatest of lies.