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In a Seperate Study that Wasn't as Widely Publicized the CBO Found...

If Undocumented Democrats were to become legal residents:

1. Men would be able to perform sex for at least ten extra minutes
2. Women would have 25% more moments of bliss
3. Dogs would live longer
4. People would get more for their money at the super-market, all sizes would increase with no increase in cost
5. Children would be more healthy
6. The average life expectancy would increase by 35 years
7. Soap would work literally twice as good
8. You would get 10 more miles per gallon of gas
9. You could live on bread and water, and be twice as healthy as you are now
10. We would find a better battery in less than three months making all cars electric in two years
11. All polution would end
12. Rivers would start flowing in two directions, giving us twice as much water
13. Rickshaws would be a thing of the past
14. Global warming would stop and reverse lowering the temperature ten degress in as many years
15. All college tuition would be free
16. Everyone would retire at 32 and never have to work again
17. Mother in laws would always call before they came over
18. Mother in laws would always write a litter telling you when she was going to call next
19. Children would always mind
20. Your salary would go up by 47.23679292% in two years
21. Food would be free within 7 years
22. The price of gasoline would drop by 72.928376726% in three years
23. Divorce would be a thing of the past
24. Within four years it would start raining only at night, and each day would be sunny and bright
25. The NSA would stop keeping track of the phone numbers we call
26. The IRS would stop harassing Conservative groups
27. Life would be perfect

Honest!