Actually, John Forbes Kerry was for the Muslim Brotherhood before he was against the Muslim Brotherhood.
And how do we know he wasn’t on Brant Point on a cellphone yesterday, asking, “Can I get me a military coup there?”
Sure, we sent the jihad-crazed Islamists in Cairo billions of dollars and all those F-16s. It was a botched joke, OK?
But let’s be truthful. Would you truly want America’s Gigolo “reporting for duty” for anything more serious than scratching his chin at The Chanticleer Inn while puzzling over that eternal question of his pampered life: Chardonnay or Chablis?
As his predecessor once so famously said, “What difference at this point does it make?”
I mean, it’s not like Susan Rice isn’t still around to go out in front of the cameras and blame everything on a YouTube video made by a Coptic Christian.
Liveshot has a TV set, for goodness’ sake. He was amazed at the size of those crowds in Tahrir Square. It was the most people he’d seen in one place since the last time he saw the Packers play at Lambert Field.
Of course Kerry also heard the reports of the women being sexually assaulted. It sounded a lot like a traditional Kennedy family Easter weekend. But the secretary, he had other things on his mind yesterday — like supervising his chefs grilling the venison loin from that 24-point buck he bagged on the Cape.
“Lovey, pass the Grey Poupon, s’il vous plait.”
Look on the bright side — at least in the photo yesterday, he wasn’t sipping a pina colada from a penis straw with a bunch of tipsy coeds. Nobody asked him about the Pats, so he didn’t mix up Carlos Ortiz with his favorite Red Sox player, Manny Ortiz.
Liveshot never misses Independence Day on Nantucket. Not since he married the widow Heinz and moved out of that Chrysler LeBaron convertible Bob Brest comped him and into that $9.2 million mansion bought by his second wife’s first husband’s trust fund.
Yesterday, the Navy turned Old Ironsides around in the harbor like it does every Independence Day. Well, Liveshot does the same thing with the Isabel, his 76-foot, $7 million yacht. He always pilots the Isabel into Rhode Island waters, so he can claim he doesn’t have to pay the annual $70,000 excise tax from the town of Nantucket.
And where exactly would you want him to be “shuttling”? To Syria? You do know he was also for Basher al-Assad before he was against Basher al-Assad. Now we’re backing those nice “rebels” who chopped off the head of a Franciscan priest last week and posted a video on YouTube.
Oddly, no riots engulfed the Muslim world after that atrocity. No stern denunciations from the Rose Garden of that celebration of diversity.
If only they had windsurfing on the Nile. Would that it were, Lovey. Would that it were.
I don't know if liveshot.cc is still up, probably not, but the bit about the Kerry homes was reproduced in this page on snopes.com--raccoonradio live from Pittsburgh