Posted on 01/06/2014 4:35:30 AM PST by Kaslin
Have you ever been pigeon-holed at a party by a liberal? I recommend avoiding it at all costs, but if it happens, go with it. You’ll get an education in what our opponents actually think as he rails, whines and complains about the terrible, inhuman monster that lurks on the fringes of American society.
This scourge is called a “conservative,” and I hope I never meet one in a dark alley. They apparently carry automatic weapons as they stalk the streets, hating science and hunting the poor for sport.
You’ll quickly note how your liberal monologist – they literally never shut up – is a scholar of all things conservative. Of course, he has never actually met one, living as he does in an urban sewer like San Francisco or in a subsidized academic enclave of Marxist fantasy like Berkeley. But who needs experience when you can get convenient bite-sized morsels of pre-processed ideology from MSNBC between the endless reruns of Lock Up?
First off, you’ll learn that conservatives are scary. They tend to identify with the traditional male paradigm that values aggressiveness, fierce patriotism, and personal responsibility. And that’s just conservative women.
Conservatives believe in owning guns, and will barbarically celebrate whenever some poor victim of society gets ventilated trying to invade a conservative’s home. Conservatives owning guns is terrible because they could, in theory, go on one of those shooting sprees liberals love to exploit. Except they never do – shooters inevitably have either written mash notes to the pantheon of liberal idols or received instructions from their talking Rottweilers. The Tea Party gunman remains the liberals’ Holy Grail.
Now, how liberals ignore the utter lack of conservative violence when arguing for confiscating their guns illustrates another theme. A lack of empirical evidence is not a problem for a liberal. Evidence isn’t an issue when your entire ideology trains you to come to a politically useful conclusion, then work backwards.
Take Obamacare. To a conservative, the evidence would seem to be damning. You can’t sign up for it. You can’t keep the policy you like, or buy a new one that meet your needs. The prices are going up. You can’t get in to see your doctor. Grey’s Anatomy is still on the air.
But to a liberal, its total failure is no problem. You see, Obamacare is a self-evident good. It centralizes power to the liberal elite, so trivialities like it being an utter fiasco are irrelevant.
Also, and most importantly, you will learn that Obamacare is a wonderful because conservatives hate black people. If fact, apparently conservatives would eagerly have embraced the President’s entire socialist agenda if only his mother and father had both come from the fjords of Norway.
Your liberal amateur anthropologist will explain to you that racism is the defining characteristic of conservatism. Apparently, all conservatives think of is race, which seems odd considering that it’s liberals who won’t stop talking about it.
Conservatives are also religious, which makes them even worse. Your liberal interlocutor will be happy to put on his theologian hat and start talking about how all conservatives hate evolution, believe dinosaurs and cavemen coexisted, and burn crosses.
Oh wait, that last one is a Democrat thing. Remember, even if you could wedge a word in edgewise, it would be impolite to mention the Democrat origins of the KKK, Democrat hero Woodrow Wilson’s racial theories, or to seek clarification about whether Democrat Senate icon Robert Byrd was an Imperial Cyclops or an Exalted Kleagle.
Your liberal conversationalist might even offer you a few select Bible verses to reinforce how a Jewish carpenter from 2000 years ago who he doesn’t believe in totally would have agreed with all his 21st Century leftist policy prescriptions. He’ll get mad if you suggest that Jesus’s initial reaction to Obamacare would probably be to chide its sponsors for lying about it.
You will also learn that conservatives hate the poor, including conservatives who were poor until adhering to conservative values, along with hard work, made them not poor any more.
After all, hate is the only possible explanation for conservative resentment of a government that steals the money conservatives worked hard to earn to give it to Democrat serfs who, by definition didn’t work hard at all. Well, hate and racism, because the totally-not-at-all-racist liberals assume anyone poor is a minority.
Another great thing about liberals is that they don’t need any “experience” or “training” to feel free to opine. I recall one hipster lecturing me on Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. Although Iraqi weapons of mass destruction had been my job during Operation Desert Storm, I was enthralled by the perspective of someone whose tactical background consisted of reading slam poetry at coffee house open mics in Burbank.
You’ll find they’re weapons experts too. That’s why they can explain how you don’t need a modern “assault rifle.” Yeah, listen to that guy with the “Arms are for hugging” bumpersticker on this Pirus. He knows. He’ll also be happy to tell you how the law should limit the number of calibers in the magazine clip of your automatic AR-15 assault cannon.
And, finally, you’ll hear about how conservatives totally hate sex. This is likely to be followed with complaints about the large size of conservative families. By that point, you’ve probably been introduced to your liberal acquaintance’s spouse and now understand why liberal families are so small and why your liberal buddy is so very, very unhappy.
Just smile, nod, and spare him a little pity as you excuse yourself to head to the bar to get yourself a double.
When a new friend from Hollywood discovered that I was a “Republican” he instructed his friends not to use foul language in front of me or drink alcohol as I would be hurt and offended. It turned out he thought I was some version of his idea of a fundamentalist evangelical.
I work with several Liberal women and they all scream the same crap- Republicans and Tea Party folks hate poor people....
One gal in ..voting for Obama in 2008 and hating Bush stated the reasons she voted for Obama..in his 5 years Obama has super-ceded Bush in all her talking points. Use of Drones bad for Bush, Patriot Act bad for Bush, executive orders bad for Bush, American image in Middle East bad for Bush, Guatamino bad for Bush- Obama was going to fix all of this....whatever....
I work with several Liberal women and they all scream the same crap- Republicans and Tea Party folks hate poor people....
One gal in ..voting for Obama in 2008 and hating Bush stated the reasons she voted for Obama..in his 5 years Obama has super-ceded Bush in all her talking points. Use of Drones bad for Bush, Patriot Act bad for Bush, executive orders bad for Bush, American image in Middle East bad for Bush, Guatamino bad for Bush- Obama was going to fix all of this....whatever....
I found newspaper archive of where I was born and raised. I was born in 1959— and I scanned the articles, even back then, Dems were portrayed as fighting for the poor and women and Republicans portrayed as opposite, lot of Union articles....not much has changed in 50 years.....
Also a great opportunity to educate the liberal in turn.
Right.
The way to handle coercive utopian liberals is very clear:
Reid was on Face the Nation yesterday and he must have used the term "Republican" 50 times in five minutes. These guys hate us so much they can't talk about their own 'vision' (even if it is from 50 years ago) ... they can only talk about us.
Sick.
Jon Stewart tried to get a dem to talk about what she wanted once, and she couldn't do it - just kept defaulting back to 'Republicans want..." then she'd fill in the blank with what ever scare tactic she thought would work... Even Stewart was seeing it..
The article references MSNBC, and to further emphasize the article’s point, MSNBC itself is the left-wing version of what the left-wing thinks Fox News is for the right-wing.
Which is even more ridiculous when you consider that Fox isn’t even right-wing, but only nominally right of center.
I learned how to handle libs. I openly call them idiots , make sure others are around to hear it and tell them when they stop watching MSNBC their IQ’s will go up.
Usually the comeback is I am a racist, which my comeback is, you just validated my point.
Pre-emptive strike on the lefties is best now....... Hell, their scions are assaulting folks with intent to maim all across America, in their knock out “game.”
I now longer have any patience for the left whatsoever. They can just eff right off...period.No tit for tat anymore IMHO.
What frosts a liberal even more is to point out that their favorite whipping boy, J. Edgar Hoover, was the FBI director who broke the Klan.
After those four little girls died in the Birmingham bombing, he had the KKK infiltrated. After J. Edgar died, the liberals were so reluctant to give him credit for it that they continued the program even though it was clear that the only thing keeping the KKK on life support were the dues paid by the FBI infiltrators.
It was Reagan who finally ended the program in 1981 when this became crystal clear. Of course, the liberals of the day branded Reagan a racist for ending an effective program which was clearly no longer necessary.
Or, fair and balanced, exactly as they claim. Even Hillary Clinton admitted the same.
“Just smile, nod, and spare him a little pity as you excuse yourself to head to the bar to get yourself a double.”
That’s the solution I’ve settled on, as well.
I do as well. Might as well take the aggressive approach against aggression. "How about you ask me what I think instead of telling me what I think?" usually cuts to the chase.
The author had it right - "amateur anthropologist". Briefly, (1) they're told by an echo chamber what conservatives think and believe every word; (2) they're so tribal that they only view the world in an "us vs them" scenario; (3) they absolutely think in stereotypes and resolutely deny contraindicative evidence.
That's one reason the Right To Life thing is so inflammatory. The stereotype is that liberals care about human beings and conservatives do not. That abortion constitutes killing human beings is so adamantly denied for that specific reason. Those few liberals who can think outside that box are nearly all pro-life - the late Christopher Hitchens, for example. They're in the minority.
I don't mind a spirited debate on a level playing field, but political discourse with most of them consists of an unending series of accusations and a demand for apology in reply. That isn't political discourse.
I just had a shouting match with a liberal neighbor an hour ago, and he could not even admit the point that allowing businessmen to keep more of their money would create jobs in this present climate. Absolute die-hard fanatic bulletproof Teflon coated skull that will not admit one rational fact.
Any other time we get along, but any discussion on current politics...we don’t go there if it can be helped.
I have to say I had the satisfaction of physically kicking his butt once. Had nothing to do with politics, he was getting into pharmaceuticals and when he was high he would wander around threatening people...so naturally, liberal.
He quit popping and mixing pills soon after that actually, I joke that I knocked it out of him. I didn’t really hurt him but he made a public azz of himself, and now we’re neighborly. He even lent me an extra heater for the cold snap, so liberals are good for something.
The funny thing is, after our shouting match I walked off about ten steps when I realized I forgot the heater. So I had to turn around and bang on his door. “Hey! Give me the heater!”
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