The government and computers don’t mix.
The way to solve the welfare problem in this country is to put all welfare under the VA.
“Hi. I’d like to apply for foodstamps.”
“Sure. No problem.”
“How long will it take until I’m on the program?”
“We’re pretty busy. It’s taking about six years, now.”
And Medicare and Medicaid.....
“I would like to talk to a specialist about this.”
“Well, what if everyone thought they had to see a specialist?”
“Yeah, but you had never heard of Pancreatitis. You asked me how to spell it so you could look it up on the computer. Then, you told me you get it from eating pancakes.”
“OK. Let’s do a videoconference with a specialist. Let me get out my videoconference machine.”
“That’s a cardboard box with a hole cut in it.”
“No.no. It’s a videoconference machine. I’ll turn it on. See! There’s Doctor Smith in Miami.”
“That’s your hand in a sock.”
“Oops! Doctor Smith is fading out. Must be satellite troubles.”
“You dropped the sock on the floor.”
“Well, here are three aspirins. Put one in each ear and we’ll see you next year.”
And all the while, there are posters, billboards, electronic message boards, all over the VA campus in Pineville, Louisiana, and paper pamphlets added into our billing statements, singing the joys of “E-Benefits”, or “My HealthE-vet”!!!