It isn’t wrong at all.
A marriage had to be legal, to be legal, if it wasn’t legal, then you were not married according to the law.
You didn’t have to be legally married in the past, and you don’t now, if you so choose.
But if you want your marriage to be legal, then it must be recognized as such.
While America only goes back to “the 19th century” licenses go back to the 1300s, and when it wasn’t a license, it was a bann, or something else, the license isn’t the requirement, even today Americans can marry without a license, yet still have a legal marriage.
If you don’t care if your marriage is legal or not, then don’t worry about any such things, just make up your own definition.
I live in America. I don’t give a rat’s ass what they did in Europe in the 13th century.
I don’t need a license from the State to get married. It’s none of their business. This whole gay marriage thing can be laid squarely at the feet of people like you. When you ceded the position that marriage is a State issue you willingly spread your philosophical legs for the screwing your getting.
You made your bed, now lie back and enjoy it.