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To: Matchett-PI

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed.

They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, ‘Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?’ The farmer said, ‘Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot.’

The old lady suggested, ‘Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?’

‘Why thank you very much,’ he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says ‘Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.’

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, ‘I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?’

The farmer said, ‘Holy smokes lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?’

The old lady replied, ‘Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.


9 posted on 01/27/2014 7:56:52 AM PST by advertising guy (givin Iran, ian oil producing country, billions, is like givin Texas cattle cause they can grow hay)
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To: advertising guy

LOL!


12 posted on 01/27/2014 8:34:12 AM PST by Carriage Hill (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading.)
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To: advertising guy

:-)


13 posted on 01/27/2014 8:42:52 AM PST by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: advertising guy
Two old farmers meet each other at a crossroads out in the middle of the fields...

Good Morning Ephriam.
Good Morning Cyrus...

How are you? How are the crops?

(Ephriam) Oy! I got troubles.. The youngsters are parking amongst the corn, they throw out beer bottles, condoms, chewing gum wrappers...
They are ruining the crops... Sigh.. Hows your Wheat?

(Cryus) ****ed flat!


14 posted on 01/27/2014 8:43:21 AM PST by mylife (Ted Cruz understands the law, and he does not fear the unlawful.)
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To: advertising guy

Thanks for the smile.


16 posted on 01/27/2014 8:56:07 AM PST by mylife (Ted Cruz understands the law, and he does not fear the unlawful.)
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To: advertising guy
you bad! :-D

116 posted on 01/28/2014 12:32:10 AM PST by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Caligula / 0'Reid / 0'Pelosi)
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