[null and void]

LISTER: Where are all your other catty friends, Cat?
CAT: Good Krispies, man!
LISTER: But where are all the other little kitties? Are they gone? Are they dead? Have they left you?
RIMMER: Who cares? I want it off the ship!
LISTER: No! He's coming home with us, aren't you, Cat?
RIMMER: Home? And where exactly is home supposed to be?
LISTER: Earth.
RIMMER: Earth? What makes you think there'll be any Earth, Lister? And even if there is, look what it's done to a household pet in three million years.

CAT takes out a toothbrush and begins grooming his eyebrows.

RIMMER: Can you imagine what humankind has evolved into? To them, you'll be the equivalent of the slime that first crawled out of the oceans.
LISTER: I could smarten meself up a bit.
RIMMER: Naah. You're a dinosaur. You're extinct. You've got nothing.
LISTER: Hey, hey! I've still got me plan. And I've still got a cat. OK, it's not Frankenstein, but it's still a cat.
CAT: Did you say Frankenstein?
LISTER: Yeah. She was your great great great great great great grandmother or something.
CAT: The Holy Mother? The Virgin Birth? No one believes that stuff!
RIMMER: The Virgin Birth?!
LISTER: No, it was a big black tom on Titan.
CAT: Frankenstein, yeah! I remember that stuff from kitty school. The Holy Mother, saved by Cloister the Stupid, who was frozen in time, and who gaveth of his life that we might live.
LISTER: No! No, it's not Cloister, it's me, it's
Lister! It's *Lister* the ... stupid?!
CAT: Who shall returneth to lead us to Fushal, the Promised Land.
LISTER: No, it's not Fushal, it's Fiji! And I will! I'll lead you there. (To RIMMER) *That's* where we're going. Holly, plot a course for Fiji. Look out, Earth -- the slime's coming home!

[DannyTN]

He slimed me...

[Red Badger]

Democrats were in charge, obviously................

[dangus]

How is it possible serious researchers can be so stupid regarding cause and effect? I hope it’s only the reporting that is so bad.

Plants are the prevalent life forms. To them, carbon dioxide is life, and oxygen is nothing more than a dangerous waste product. When plants prosper, oxygen levels rise. Attributing an increase in life to a rise in oxygen... my brain wants to explode!

[WayneS]

Tasmanian researchers have revealed ancient conditions that almost ended life on Earth... Well, we know one thing for sure. If life on earth HAD ended, it would have been George W. Bush's fault...

[Red_Devil 232]

"This is Hugh" - Professor Large

[DJ MacWoW]

Big Bang Theory?

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[Boogieman]

the key was a lack of oxygen and nutrient elements, which placed evolution in a precarious position. “During that billion years, oxygen levels declined and the oceans were losing the ingredients needed for life to develop into more complex organisms.”

---

What is this nonsense? Times of hardship and shortage are exactly when natural selection kicks into high gear, selecting the most fit organisms even more aggressively than usual. If anything would stall natural selection, it would be an extended period of plenty, not a shortage.

[Mr. K]

I don’t know what any of that is supposed to mean, but I do know that “Cloister the Stupid” would make a great Freeper name!

[lump in the melting pot]

Ok, so life evolved 3.6 billion years ago, then sat around being boring and slimy until 550 million (0.6 billion) years ago. The article repeatedly states that this boring epoch (3.6 - 0.6) was “one billion” years. Someone’s math is a bit off. Or maybe it’s fedgov accounting (”a few billion here, a few billion there, what’s the difference”)?

[Organic Panic]

Chuck Norris scared the evolution out of them.

[jimmyray]

QUOTE: The first life developed in the ancient oceans around 3.6 billion years ago...

Believers in abiogenesis have more faith than any creationist around.

The first life "developed" with the ability to process food, extract nutrients, and reproduce, all simultaneously! Incredible!

[PIF]

then again there was an article yesterday - don’t know if it made it to FR - but a zircon crystal was dated to 4.4 billion years ago. To form, it meant that Earth was a fairly nice place then.

From the article:
— “To put that age in perspective, the Earth itself formed 4.5 billion years ago as a ball of molten rock, meaning that its crust formed relatively soon thereafter, 100 million years later. The age of the crystal also means that the crust appeared just 160 million years after the very formation of the solar system.”

— “The finding supports the notion of a “cool early Earth” where temperatures were low enough to sustain oceans, and perhaps life, earlier than previously thought, Valley said.”