[GreenHornet]

Just this morning, Barack Obama announced he was getting tough with Putin, stating that he had authorized the following actions:

1.) Secretary of State John Kerry called a Moscow pizza place last night, and had 20 pizzas sent over to Putin's house.

2.) An undercover operative left a paper bag filled with dog poop on Putin's front steps, lit in on fire, then rang the doorbell and ran away.

3.) Joe Biden has been directed to call Putin repeatedly and ask if he has Prince Albert in a can.

[Cincinatus' Wife]

Just this morning.................

And just this afternoon Putin sent each of them a whoopee cushion.