My son tells his son (who has been in martial arts for years) to use whatever force necessary to protect him or his sister. Just to never act out of anger...
I’m sure they can take care of themselves. He (my 11 YO grandson could probably land me on my back)
My oldest son (17 years old, 6'5", 225 pounds) is a third degree taekwondo blackbelt with a fair amount of competition wins.
Youngest son (15 years old, 6' and dense like a bag of cement) is a second degree taekwondo blackbelt also with a fair number of competition wins to his credit.
I've told both of them that because of what they know and their ability to really put a hurt on someone, their first obligation is to always attempt to walk away from a conflict. They don't have to reveal their martial arts training or anything, just walk away if at all possible.
If they are unable to walk away or feel like they've been backed into a corner, then go ahead and defend themselves and unleash hell as far as I'm concerned.
My youngest son is a red head like I am, and I remember what it was like when I was growing up in the 60's and 70's, I got picked on alot and had to learn how to fight. I won some, I lost some, but when I lost the other kid knew he was in a fight and never picked on me again. So naturally I was concerned about my youngest son getting picked on as he grew up.
Both my sons started taekwondo at a very young age. Oldest was 7, youngest 5 so they've been at it for awhile.
My oldest carries himself with this air of confidence that pretty much stops anyone from physically messing with him. It's just how he's always been, but then he's always been much taller than other kids his age.
The youngest is more reserved, and while outwardly sociable sometimes other kids can still be mean. He once got picked on in 7th grade by one of the known class bullies. He remembered my words of "walk away if you can, unleash hell if you cannot." Not wanting to get in trouble at school with their stupid "zero tolerance" policy on fighting (both bully AND victim get thrown out if victim fights back) he got pushed around quite a bit by this bully for a few weeks without telling me. His friends who knew the bully told him that my youngest son had martial arts training, which seemed to increase the bullying. This kid really wanted to fight I guess.
Youngest son told me at dinner one night what was going on after several weeks of trying to walk away, and asked what he should do. My advice was simple: Sometimes the best way to deal with a bully was to punch him right in the nose and knock him down. "What if I get suspended for fighting back Dad?" he asked. I told him that should it come to him punching the bully in the nose to stop the bullying, that I had his back and not to worry about suspension.
Two days later, the call came from the school that youngest son was in the principals office for fighting. I left work adn went to the scbool to pick him up. In front of the principal who was going to suspend him, I asked my son how many times he tried walking away from the bully as I'd instructed him to do. He answered right in front of the principal. Then I asked him what I told him about dealing with bullies. Again, he answered in front of the principal.
Then I asked him if the principal was being a bully by simply suspending both kids involved, rather than attempting to understand what happened was necessary to STOP the bullying. To my youngest sons credit, he was brave enough to answer YES in front of his principal authority. Then I asked him how his father should handle his principal, who was also being a STUPID bully.
It didn't take long for the principal to reverse his decision to also suspend my son, who was in fact defending himself, and frankly his classmates by stopping this kid who was a grade above my son, and was also bullying other kids. (The kid had a record of it.)
There are many ways to deal with bullies of all sizes and ages. Some we punch in the nose. As they get older, the mere mention of retaliation via lawsuit and attending every school board meeting for the rest of the year until they get fired quite often does the trick.
That's how we deal with zero tolerance bullies.
Youngest son is now a freshman in high school and no one messes with him. Certainly not anyone who doesn't want their ass kicked by a red head.