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A Lib's is Texas Angus Patty Melt, and I'll choose the wheat toast option instead of the Texas toast option (or raisin toast option or whatever else is available). Scattered, smothered, and covered means the hash browns are scattered on the grill to brown and crook crispier, smothered means onions are added, and covered means melted cheese on top.

I should have mentioned that Waffle House is not a high-brow place. People go there on weekend mornings for breakfast, or for a late-night meal and eat the same food they ate with their family as children. High school and college students go there because the lack of ambience creates an ambience, and because every Waffle House is the same. The rest of the time, you may find a motley crow, particularly if you're on the road and stop in after midnight.

There are lots of jokes, some well-deserved, about the fact that a significant percentage of night-time and overnight Waffle House patrons are . . . interesting. It's a redneck right of passage, and a place where high-schoolers go after football games. You may be served by a gum-smacking waitress with a beehive hairdo.

The restaurant floorprints are small and identical, with a small number of laminate booths, a counter with stools, and a counter with chairs.

Sex at a Waffle House? It's beyond the pale.