No wonder he never talks to President Jimmy Carter.
Barry at the Bat: A Ballad of the Former Superstar Sung in the Year 2014
The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the new G-8 that day;
The score stood one to zero, and Putin still had cards to play.
And when Kerry failed with Lavrov, and Merkel came up lame,
A sickly silence fell when Romney said Obama was to blame.
A straggling few got up and left in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the breast;
They thought, if only Barry could but get his chance to speak
They’d put up even money he’d be the hero of the week.
But Hollande preceded Biden against Putin on the make,
And the former was limp wristed and the latter was a flake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy grew
For there seemed but little chance of Barry getting his debut.
But Hollande collpsed so quickly, to the wonderment of all,
And Biden played the Joker and took another slapstick fall.
And when the dust had lifted they saw what had occurred,
There was Putin at the border making Yanukovych look absurd
Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the range,
For Barry, mighty Barry, was advancing to the stage.
There was ease in Barry’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Barry’s bearing and a smile on Barry’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he spritely took a bow,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt that Barry’d show them how.
Ten thousand eyes were on him as his Teleprompter spooled;
Five thousand tongues were cheering “Barry still looks really cool!”
Then while the waiting multitudes felt their heartbeats start to race
Defiance gleamed in Barry’s eye, a sneer crossed Barry’s face.
Then the mighty amplifiers shot Barry’s words hurtling through the air,
And Barry stood a-watching it in his haughty grandeur there.
But through the air and out the doors his empty words unheeded sped,
“That can’t be Barry speaking!”, his doting followers said.
From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
“What has happened to our savior?”, yelled the people on the strand.
And it’s likely they’d have walked away had not Barry raised his hand.
With the air of superiority, great Barry’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the speech go on;
He signaled to the ‘prompter, and once more the canned words flew;
But the audience still ignored it and Putin said, “Strike two.”
“Fraud!” cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Barry and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Barry wouldn’t let Putin have his way again.
The sneer is still on Barry’s lip, his teeth are clenched in rage;
He pounds with child-like petulance, his fist upon the page.
And now the Teleprompter rolls and Barry’s words begin to flow,
But his words are fluff, the magic’s gone, the charlatan’s laid low.
Oh, somewhere in the liberals’ land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in The Netherlands - mighty Barry has struck out.
President MomJeans: “I are stupid - just axe me.”
Maybe the Austrians slipped him a Joke Teleprompter that showed his speech in Austrian...
Is that the “flexibility” he mentioned to Medvedev?
Cut Obama some slack here. It’s hard enough having to read what’s on the teleprompter. You can’t expect him to know about it as well. That’s asking too much of someone with zero leadership skills and zero executive skills.