My kids drank at home under my supervision at every celebratory event from the age of 12 or so. They had wine/water mix at the table at celebratory events from the time they could hold a wine glass. If the teens wanted to try a specific beer or spirit I would purchase it and we would sample.
It demystified alcohol and helped them integrate ETOH use into their lives.
I remember my son telling me that he sort of laughed up his sleeve at his friends who would get a bottle of ETHOH and drink it and treat it like contraband. He said: I know that I can come home and ask for a drink if I wanted it and I would get it. I am so much freer than they are.
Our babies (and an occasional pet) have always liked a bit of wine.
I allow my 12 YO son a sip or two of new wines or brews I bring into the house...under my supervision of course. Thanks to a wine & viticulture class I'm taking for fun this semester, I've been bringing home a bottle or two every couple of weeks.
He's seen the problems created by his older siblings when they've had too much to drink, so I think he'll be more responsible when he's older.
My attitude towards the drinking age is simple: if you can enlist in the Army at 18, you should be able to have an adult beverage in public.
The current laws contribute to the prolonged adolescence of young adults today.