Posted on 05/24/2014 7:07:53 PM PDT by Dallas59
“My Twisted World” reveals many inciting issues in this kid’s life. But when it appears to take a demonic turn, one can only pray “St. Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle ... “:
DEPERSONALIZED VIEW OF HIS OWN BIRTH:
“My mother and father had been married for a couple of years before my mother became pregnant with me. In fact, her pregnancy was an accident. She had been taking pills to prevent pregnancy, but when she visited my father on one of his film sets, she fell ill and the medication she took for that illness thwarted the effect of the anti-pregnancy pills, and so their lovemaking during this period resulted in my life.”
TRAUMATIC DIVORCE:
“I asked her if she and father would ever divorce. She said it would never happen” and then a few months later “she and my father are getting a divorce.”
This unexpected divorce was followed by his father’s remarriage to a disliked step mother, multiple nannies, court appointed visitation arrangements, moving from house to house — perhaps as many as 20 domiciles in as many years.
STRUGGLE TO FIND IDENTITY:
He vows to “mold myself into the coolest kid,” then he bleaches hair at 9 or 10.
PUBERTY CRISIS:
“Childhood is fun, but when a boy reaches puberty a whole new world opens up to him…a whole new world with new pleasures, such as sex and love. Other boys will experience this, but not me, it pains me to say. That is the basis of my tragic life.”
PORNOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION:
His early, traumatic exposure to pornography was followed by pornographic fantasy and regular masturbation (”I usually masturbated at least every other day”)
RETREAT INTO VIRTUAL REALITY:
He takes”sanctuary” in video games…”I didn’t want to grow up.” Later: “I could literally play the game for every waking minute. And so I did.” “That was the life I wanted. A life of pleasure and sex.”
SEXUAL GUILT TURNS TO REPUGNANCE:
“Sex…the very word fills me with hate.” He is reacting to a culture of 14-year-olds bragging about sex, including hearing an audio tape between a 9th grade boy and girl Crespi CARMELITE High School having sex. He feels: “I just didn’t care anymore. I hated that school. I didn’t think about my future. The only thing I gave any serious thought to was my WoW character.”
CONSIDERING VIOLENCE AS BASIS FOR IDENTITY:
“Infamy is better than total obscurity.”
SENSE OF ABSENT FATHER:
“When I think about it, he was always absent from my life. When my whole world took a downward spiral into darkness after I hit puberty, he never made any effort to save me. He just didn’t care.”
FETISHIZING FEMININITY
“The power that beautiful women have is unbelievable. They can temporarily turn a desperate boy’s whole world around just by smiling…. to feel her love! That is what I want in life. Instead, I had to watch other men experience my idea of heaven while I rot in bitter loneliness.”
NEW AGE SELF-TALK:
“I am more than human. I am superior to them all. I am Elliot Rodger… Magnificent, glorious, supreme, eminent…Divine! I am the closest thing there is to a living god. Humanity is a disgusting, depraved, and evil species. It is my purpose to punish them all… I am not meant to live such a pathetic, miserable life. That is not my place in this world. I will not bow down and accept such a horrific fate. If humanity will not give me a worthy place among them, then I will destroy them all. I am better than all of the them. I am a god. Exacting my Retribution is my way of proving my true worth to the world….”
DAMNATION:
“I look at the human race and I see only vileness and depravity, all because of an act known as sexuality… I wasn’t the one who struck first … But I will finish it by striking back. I will punish everyone. And it will be beautiful. Finally, at long last, I can show the world my true worth.”
I wonder if this is similar to what plagues the Black community?
I do wonder what his problem was where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, e.g. dating scene, interaction with females. We all get rejected, but occasionally score if we are minimally socially acceptable. His guy was OK looking, decent car and probably some money in his pocket - must have been sexually confused - looks a little gay to me, but it’s hard to tell for sure.
Yes indeed, plus Narcissism beyond belief. He was sooooo very into himself. Those girls didn't stand a chance.
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