“Or my back yard, which will have a day or two of waterloggedness after 3 or 4 inches of rain.”
Good thing you didn’t use a ‘sarc’ tag.
Mayor Bloomberg of NY once, after much effort, tracked down a large leak in on of NY’s water tunnels. When he tried to rectify the massive waste of water the EPA said ‘No, it’s a wetland now and subject to EPA rules. Bloomberg actually backed down rather than laugh in their faces and fix the damn leak! True story.
A famous legacy of an actual case in the upper SanFrancisco bay south of Napa, CA. Farmer had a set of dikes made in the late 1890’s ... The fields were dry, were productive for decades.
The dike broke, the area was flooded at high tide one night. Magically, they became “wetlands” and he could not fix the dike.
But the next step is the water table. All the land above any water that MIGHT be underground is now federally regulated. Water is water. Just because it lays underground 40 feet doesn't make it less than water.