Coakley Conundrum
Howie Carr, Boston Herald 6/8/14
Youre Marsha Coakley, and you just want this next week to be over. You want to limp out of Worcester next Saturday after taking your lumps at the state Democratic convention so you can get on with the rest of the campaign.
Youre Marsha Coakley and the only way things could get worse in Worcester next weekend is if you dialed Uber for a car and on your smartphone Crash Murrays face popped up, telling you hes 10 miles from the DCU Center and hell be there to pick you up in less than a minute.
You cant believe that Steve Grossman is 50 points behind you in the polls, and hes telling you your campaign has some real soul-searching to do?
This guy has been running for governor nonstop for 12 years, since he and another fresh face named Warren California Chrome Tolman appeared on the scene to lose to that tattooed titan, Shannon OBrien?
Youre Marsha Coakley, and after all these years in politics, youre still a rotten campaigner. You can talk to the people, but not with them. Because, at bottom, youre not a pol, youre a cop. Which is why you dont see anything wrong with your state police using their Official Business placards to park in fire lanes for your campaign fundraisers. Thats what cops do.
Youre Marsha Coakley, and has Grossman booked every single restaurant in downtown Worcester next Friday night for the care and feeding of his delegates?
This isnt going to be one of those conventions that brings a lot of new moonbats into the party, like in 2006, when the trust-funded delegates were all agog over gay marriage and working off their white guilt by voting for Deval.
Its also not 2012, when all the old ladies in their buns and granny glasses turned out with their knitting on a jihad to do to Scott Brown what that Republican Senate candidate in Iowa says she used to do to hogs down on her farm.
No, this convention is Hacks Only Need Apply. Moonbat hacks, conservative hacks (all six of them), hacks hacks. If you invite 100 of these convention delegates to a party, you have to order food for 200, so they can steal something to take home. Whos going to this convention next weekend? Check out the list of the 34 unindicted co-conspirators at the Probation Department trial and youll have a pretty good idea, after you subtract that large percentage that will be in Boston for the Gay Pride Parade.
Will there be a moment of silence at the convention for Democracys fallen stalwarts Mike McLaughlin, Carlos Henriquez, John Fresolo?
Youre Marsha Coakley, and where did this guy Don Berwick come from? Berwick knows this years magic moonbat phrase: single payer. That will make all the Obamacare fiascoes go away. Just bleed the patient a little more and everything will be fine. Worked so well for George Washington.
You thought Juliette Kayyem might be a contender, but she too seems fixated on two words, except theyre two words that drive your average NPR-listening moonbat crazy: homeland security.
For most of the delegates, the only policy question that matters is where they can get themselves and their drug-addict relatives hack jobs now that the Probation Department has to at least pretend to be on the level for a year or two? (Answer: the Mass. Convention Center Authority, with Jim Rooney in the role of John OBrien.)
Youre Marsha Coakley, and this convention is Steve Grossmans reward for all these years of drooling on everybodys shoes as the Uriah Heep of the state party. Let him win on the second ballot, cue the balloons and the confetti, strike up the band and let him get all the video he needs for his TV spots. The only problem is, then he begins his anti-Marsha media blitz, financed by that super PAC thats run by his neighbors like the old Obama bundler, I mean ambassador.
Youre Marsha Coakley, and theres only one consolation this week. Charlie Baker is almost as bad a candidate as you are.
(And here is Howie's Sat. column
http://bostonherald.com/news_opinion/columnists/howie_carr/2014/06/carr_theres_no_diversity_of_ideas
Wed column ping