He has to do it without crying, however...
Exactly. Promise the crybaby a bottle of Crown Royal. That'll work.
FUJB
CONgre$$
Not to worry! John Boehner will be fully and properly welcomed by his Canadian audience. The oak podium onstage will be stocked with eight boxes of facial tissues. The tissues are made of high quality papyrus from Eqypt and pulp renderings from some of the oldest Maple Trees in the Commonwealth. This mixture is lightly scented with the fragrance of the internationally celebrated Canadian Maple Syrup. These tissue boxes, printed with the red maple leaf of Canada will be a ‘surprise gift’ included in a Goodie Basket for Mr. Boehner, proudly made available for his convienance and for his crying pleasure! #IheartJBoehnerswetcanadiantears.