[Liz]

Oh wait, there's good news at the border for Obama (/snix):

"Dad I want you to meet my boyfriend Pedro.
We're in love, I'm pregnant and we're going
to live in a trailer park in Tijuana."

"Pedro can't work b/c he has Chikungunya--he crosses
the border every week to get welfare, food stamps,
and unemployment and workmen's comp checks. "

"Pedro can't use his real name b/c he's a sex offender.
We'll get by on EITC checks b/c Pedro has four children
w/ different mothers."

"Yeo, amigo."

[Liz]

Obama came out of the shower into Michele's bedroom.

The First Lady was not pleased. "Get the hell outta here," she screamed.

"But Michele, " Obama pleaded, "I'm naked and afraid and I need Executive Action."

"You got a pen and a phone. Go act alone in the Oval office."
"My southern border is closed," Michele said