Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

To: DoughtyOne

The Bible tells us to repent when we sin, which means, of course, first acknowledging our sin, then seeking God’s forgiveness, then comes “go and sin no more”.

Prior to my conversion, I lived with my first wife for years before we married. We assumed we would marry during that time. But we were still living in sin.

So what is the Biblical “cutoff for having sex before marriage”, where it is “ok” ? 2 days ? What about 2 weeks ? 2 years ?

If the WHOLE time, you KNOW you’re “going to get married”.

The Bible does not present such a latitude, as in, “if you’re going to be married within 10 days, it’s not a sin to have sex”. All it says is that sex outside of marriage is fornication and thus a sin.

You are quite sincere, I am only trying to help. I was completely oblivious to Scripture up until a few short years ago. When I experienced my conversion, I got very upset - by the words of the Bible - wondering if I had committed a grave sin that was not pardonable. I was REALLY worried. Finally the “bell went off” in my head - and in my heart - all my prior sins are exactly why I need the shed blood of Christ - because I did sin. All the hair-splitting in the world won’t save me; I am part of the “all fall short of the glory of God”.

The sins prior to conversion - will be numerous and serious - that is a given. We certainly can’t expect to have much success at avoiding sin prior to the Holy Spirit dwelling within us.

The true believer, born again, converted to Christ, repents, and is cleansed of their sin by the blood of Christ.


260 posted on 10/14/2014 11:16:11 AM PDT by PieterCasparzen (We have to fix things ourselves)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 249 | View Replies ]


To: PieterCasparzen
The Bible tells us to repent when we sin, which means, of course, first acknowledging our sin, then seeking God’s forgiveness, then comes “go and sin no more”.

I believe in that.  I do think we need to be open to the idea we've gone astray.  We do need to evaluate and modify our actions.  We're sinners.

Prior to my conversion, I lived with my first wife for years before we married. We assumed we would marry during that time. But we were still living in sin.

I'm not trying to make the case that people should be intimate and live together for years.  I don't think people shoud cohabit until they are married.

I don't think people should have out of wedlock intimacy for a long period before marriage either.  I have tried to make the case that God knows what is in the heart, and if people have committed in their heart, under some circumstances it may be okay to have relations before the actual day.

What is marriage?  It is an official act before God, the church, and society.  If you have made a committment in your heart, haven't you already committed the act before God?

I know it was a made up situation, but what about those two on the island?  If they were shipwrecked in their early 20s, and they were never found, should they be judged to be sinners if they committed to each other and lived as a married committed couple?  I don't think so.

I just don't believe God would fault them for spending their life as man and wife as opposed to only living there absent the comfort of intimacy and being unified both mentally and physically.

If this exception exists, it seems to me others might also.  I am not God.  I'm not seeking to speak for Him.  These are my thoughts as an older man who has give the issue some thought.    


So what is the Biblical “cutoff for having sex before marriage”, where it is “ok” ? 2 days ? What about 2 weeks ? 2 years ?

The Bible says when two people become man and wife.  I'm not seeking to state the Bible provides instruction on deviating from that.  I am simply saying that as a thinking person, it seems reasoned for some exceptions to exist.  Hey, I could be wrong.  I'm not here to urge folks to live in sin.  I'm here to say that I am not always comfortable with literal interpretations that ignore any mitigating factors.  

If the WHOLE time, you KNOW you’re “going to get married”.

I believe that we shouldn't game the situation.  What may be reasoned because of mitigating factors should not be gamed to cover us for long term out of wedlock sitatuions.  Even then I myself have provided an example where that may be okay.  I'm not seeking to set up a sitaution where people simply live outside wedlock doing as they please.  I have said I don't belive in cohabiting before marriage.  On the island, even that may be breached.

I would be willing to state that I think it is best if people do wait until married.  I'm not advocating for everyone to come up with a plan that circumvents God's plan.  I'm just saying that sometimes we may not know God's plan as fully as we think.  I don't think God is going to send someone to eternal death over having sex 48 hours before their marriage.  I don't think he condemns the people on the island either.


The Bible does not present such a latitude, as in, “if you’re going to be married within 10 days, it’s not a sin to have sex”. All it says is that sex outside of marriage is fornication and thus a sin.

In a text provided yesterday, it also states that effeminate behavior is a sin.  Should we take that to mean that a young man born effeminate will be condemned in the final judgement?  I don't believe that, and I doubt you do either.  Some men aren't born mascline.  None the less they can live decent lives in accordance with God's directives.

The point is, I think we need to be careful when we read things in the Bible.  The God you and I love is a God of love.  I think we need to take what we read, and realize that we might not always fully grasp God's true intent.

Is God focused on the 48 hour breach, or is He focused on the casual sex with many partners?  I believe He is focused on the later.  This is my opinion.


You are quite sincere, I am only trying to help. I was completely oblivious to Scripture up until a few short years ago. When I experienced my conversion, I got very upset - by the words of the Bible - wondering if I had committed a grave sin that was not pardonable. I was REALLY worried. Finally the “bell went off” in my head - and in my heart - all my prior sins are exactly why I need the shed blood of Christ - because I did sin. All the hair-splitting in the world won’t save me; I am part of the “all fall short of the glory of God".

Yes, we all are.  I understand where you are coming from.  I appreciate your journey.  I am proud of you.  You have done the right thing.  

The unpardonable sin in my opinion, is refusing to listen to the Holy Spirit.  Even then, I believe we fall in and out with the Holy Spirit.  We can ignore it for decades, and then one day it reaches out to us again.  If we are contemplating right from wrong, we are not cut off from God.  I don't care what we have done before that moment.  If we fall on our knees with hearfelt thoughts expressing them to God, we're covered.  We should try to live a pure life after that, but falling on our knees, confessing, and accepting Jesus Christ as our personal Savior is what it's all about.


The sins prior to conversion - will be numerous and serious - that is a given. We certainly can’t expect to have much success at avoiding sin prior to the Holy Spirit dwelling within us.

I agree.  I will say that the Holy Spirit is within you whenever you think of it with respect.  Nothing good comes from Satan.  He will not remind you of the Holy Spirit, or cause you to self reflection.

The true believer, born again, converted to Christ, repents, and is cleansed of their sin by the blood of Christ.


Salvation through faith...

Thank you for your additional thoughts.

261 posted on 10/14/2014 11:54:28 AM PDT by DoughtyOne (Obama and the Left are maggots feeding off the flesh of the United States.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 260 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson