Replies

Not factual, simply a fictional scenario made up from what has been taking place over the last week or so.

Meanwile back at the CDC...

Phone room:

CDC, how may I direct your call? No sir, we don't have our heads...
CDC, how may I direct your call? No madam, we are not all idiots!
CDC, how may I cirect your call? No sir, we don't need third graders from Obola Elementary to help run things better.
CDC, how may I direct your call? No madam, we don't actually come in contact with Ebola patients, so that's not likely to happen.

Phone tree:

You have reached teh CDC, to suggest a course of action like stoping flights from nations with high levels of Ebola sicness, please press keys FU.
You have reached the CDC, to report a suspected Ebola illness please press SEI.
You have reached the CDC, to suggest a course of action like firing Friedan, press UY.
You have reached the CDC, to leave a message for Barack Obama, press SS.

Overflow recording machine: [10,297 recordings since yesterday at 17:00]

[00:03:52] You m........ f...... ....... ........ ........ .... .........
[00:07:12] What the f..... ... .... ....... ....... ........
[00:00:09] F.... you and the rest of you ......... at the CDC.
[00:01:27] What the hell are you folks doing down there? Have you ever ..... ........ .... ........

Behind the platform: [There'e bedlam, people running in every direction, one pool of border-line sanity in the midst of it. Let's listen.]

Unknown voice one: OMG there's another one in Dallas
Unknown voice two: Oh C....., that means our protocol didn't work again
Unknown voice one: This one flew on a domestic airline exposing a lot of homeland folks
Unknown voice two: Call Katie in spin control and get her to work on this one.
Unknown voice three: There's an airliner headed this way with seven people who appear to be showing symptioms
Unknown voice two: Okay, make sure a team is dispatched at once. Seal that section of the airport. We'll need to isolate the seven, plus the rest of the passengers for 21 days.
Unknown voice three: Where will be put them? I'll get ......... to work on that in a few minutes
Unkonwn voice four: Sir, there are 12 new suspected cases off three aircraft at JFK...
Unkonwn voice three: Perhaps we should call the White House and let them know.
Unknown voice two: He told us yesterday shut up and do our work, and to quit bothering him. We wanted to inform him a patient had died and he said he was on the golf course.

On the platform: [Three people, one of which will speak, the other two there to provide smiles and nods as appropriate.]

Good afternnone ladies and gentlemen. We just wanted to give you a few updates. We have one new case of suspected Ebola in Dallas now.
As we understand it, this person flew domestically yesterday. We will be contacting the airlines and other passengers shortly.
Other than that, we have everything under control. Our techniques are being evaluated and improved upon daily.
The general population is in no danger. We've got the situation under control. Rest assured, you families are safe.

Press:

We have learned that there are...

From the platform:

Thank you for coming. That is all...